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Quaker by conviction, mother by default, Celticst through love, Christ follower because I once was lost but now am found...

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Eagle has landed.

“There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.” Erma Bombeck.
Houston, the eagle has landed. Yes folks, 5 attempts later my passport papers were finally accepted, Ditz & I both looking like members of the local Mafia. Ditz had a charming photo where she is tucking in her giggle but the computer digiting stuff doesn't like photos like that so the poor man at the P.O waited 10 minutes to snap her without even the vestige of a smile. It's not an improvement but it makes the passport people happy.

We learnt lots about passports we didn't need to know. We learnt you can't cross things out on the form. If you do cross out the crosser outer must sign said crossing out ~ unless, of course, it is the date; then nothing will help you & you must start all over again! We learnt the computer boxes are completely unreadable if you are an *older person*. We learnt that even if your old passport is more than 30 years old [& it has been at least that long since you last used it] if you turn up with said passport in your possession the man in charge will still cancel your passport while ogling the picture in disbelief & checking it against the aged & rapidly decaying specimen before him with something approaching complete disbelief. We learnt that if you have just given birth & are traveling with a newborn, even if that new born is less than 24 hours old, new born must have their own passport! Really?! How bizarre is that? Seriously, the first time I travelled overseas I travelled on my mother's passport but no longer. Nowadays each child must have their own passport. At A$100+ it's a great little money spinner. I'd hate to be doing this with all ours in tow as midgets!

The day deteriorated rapidly. Liddy wanted me to look at camping gear. She has signed up for the church camp next weekend & wants her own tent. I was hugely taken with the raised one man tents: warm, comfortable & quite spacious if all you want is a sleeping space but no good at all if you aim on living in one in wet weather. Seriously, it is basically a camp bed with a cover & incredibly comfortable. Beats sleeping on the ground. Beautiful. We also suggested she get the warmest sleeping bag around ~ -5F. She's a skinny thing & the mountains get cold round here, even in summer.

Seeing we were at the shops we looked round for *a little black dress* for Ditz. I swear, that child will be the death of me! There was not a lot to choose from & Ditz liked none of them. The ones that looked best on her *fuller figure* all had plunging necklines that neither Ditz nor I were happy with & you know what dressing room mirrors are like. In no time at all Ditz had decided that everything made her look fat ~ & that was the end of that!

Oh, & Liddy decided I needed a wardrobe overhaul & sent me into the cubicles with an armful of clothing that I promptly passed back. Whatever they've done to the sizing my more mature figure was never going to fit into those sizes. I don't do short anything, not pants, not skirts, not dresses. No~one should be subjected to certain sights in the name of good taste & good manners! Frankly I think most of today's fashion is just plain ugly & I am a plain woman who prefers comfort above all else. The only things I saw I even remotely liked are the huge variety of pretty & lacy boleros around just now ~ & that is hardly practical. I can hardly wander round in just a bolero! Sadly I know just where my daughters get their fussiness about the clothing they wear! Interestingly we seem to have educated Ditz particularly well & my rampant extrovert likes extremely modest clothing. Just now this is something of a problem & even assurances that a couple of stitches in the appropriate place would render the garment far more modest did nothing to reassure her. We came home completely empty handed & in my case just plain depressed. Nothing means doing this again with Ditz ~ & probably yet again. The thought does not make me a happy mummy.

I am sooo tired & my poor little legs ache from walking & walking on the cement. The smog has made my nose sniffle & my eyes water. The heat made me dehydrated despite lots of water & I have to go back to the mainland tomorrow because Ditz is singing ~ & a Singapore rehearsal on Sundat as well when we are both sick to death of the mainland! I am really starting to hate the place. Ditz is starting to get that wild & desperate look in her eye that means we are headed for trouble & it would be much better to head her off at the pass. Anyone want a Ditz? She's going cheap this week.


Unknown said...

I looked up the passport photo rules for Canadian passports and in the rules it says, among many things:

"eyes must be open and clearly visible"

So that makes me wonder.. what, exactly, would they do with Christopher??? - a blind kid who can not make his eyes 'clearly visible' because a} he has no control over them {ie, the whites are often what you see} b} his right has no lense for one thing, does not even resemble a human eye when you look closely, it's a bluish colour, milky looking..and c} because of the surgery involved that caused "b", that eye appears to be 3/4 shut most of the's tiny.

Then there's the forced neutral expression..nope.

They have an exception listed for infants - but I think perhaps someone should point out that infants aren't the only people who can not - through no fault of their own - pose in the manner requested.

/rant :-P

Molytail said...

Apparently I'm having an identity crisis. :-P

{I forgot that I was logged into my other gmail, waiting for a reply from someone...choir related, as it happens LOL}

Anonymous said...

Hi Ganeida,
I'll take her! lol

Aren't there any decent op-shops where you shop (on the mainland)? Some of them have the most delightful outfits at a fraction of the cost, and what's more, they fit, and they're pre-shrunk. :)

We have some wonderful ones over here.

I hope that your clothes shopping improves.

Britwife said...

We had a bit of price-tag shock when we got five passports for our family (Mr. Britwife's was current, thank heavens). Sadly, if you are under 18 years old in America, your passport is only good for 5 years (and not 10, like an adult passport). The price was pretty much the same as an adult's though.
I'm so excited for you and Ditz! :)

MamaOlive said...

You should have been a fly on the wall when we went for William's passport photo. "Can you get him to open his eyes?" Umm, he's 2 weeks old - you try. And the whole getting him on a solid white background (no, they don't have anything to lay him on). Infants don't stand against the wall very well.
And I had to write a letter before they'd take me in a headcovering.