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Quaker by conviction, mother by default, Celticst through love, Christ follower because I once was lost but now am found...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Being wr..wr...wrong.

All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.
~Winston Churchill~

Remember Fonzie? I had a soft spot for Fonzie but there is one particular episode of Happy Days that provided a catchword in our house. You probably remember it. Fonzie has to admit he was wr...wr...wr... wrong!

Oh yes, it was hysterically funny. We laughed ourselves silly but it is not so funny when you are the one who has made the mistake. So I don't have Fonzie's problem with admitting I was wrong but I am at a loss as to how best to fix the problem.

I walked out of Ditz's rehearsal with her accompanist absolutely convinced I have miscalculated very badly. Whether Ditz passes or fails her exam, & she may very well fail it, is beside the point. In trying to keep our umbrella school happy & off our case I have allowed something that we would otherwise probably have by~passed ~ the whole music exam thing. Ugh. It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. I have taken my eyes off what Christ wants for this child & allowed the system to dictate to us. Oops!

Ditz is digging in her heels. She does not want to do this exam. She thinks she does not want to do an instrument at all any more. [I think she will feel differently about it after the holidays.] What should be a pleasure has become sheer drudgery.

Now I know she needs to practise. She needs lessons to learn & at some point she may need to take an exam or two but that time does not have to be now. So I had a chat with Dearest. This close to the exam I figure she should just take it & do her best, which removes the fear of the unknown for the future. We then know exactly what we are dealing with. There is no pressure from us to pass it, though I will be mighty pleased if she does. Obviously!

Pass or fail, next year Ditz can study the grade four pieces & theory, by~pass the exam & return to the band instead with her lessons geared to studying the band pieces as well as the grade work. Ditz is not waxing enthusiastic at this point. Unfortunately with adolescence Ditz is becoming terribly lazy ~ & I've read all the theories about what goes on in a teenager's brain that makes them sleep when they should be awake & awake long after all sane people have gone to bed. I don't know if I missed how pressured the child was feeling with all that's going on in her life at present or if this is just a Ditzyism I should squash flat. I do know that everything in her life has been deadly serious this term & she has had very little that has been *just for fun*. I think I need to rectify that.

Ditz is naturally rather flighty. She has an easy going sunshiney personality, you know one of those pretty popular girls more interested in the next party than exercising their brains. Add in her ADD & you see I homeschool for very good reasons. *sigh*

So tomorrow we are on a very early boat to have a 2nd rehearsal before driving across town for an exam Ditz has no vested interest in. I need to be very wise just now & I am not feeling at all wise, merely exhausted & as if I have wasted the year. We are on holidays in a little over a week with some fun things already planned & family visiting as well, including, we hope, Ditz's cousin. Given enough sleep & time to think coherently I'm sure both Ditz & I will feel better.


The HoJo's said...

My 2p :o) if the exam is paid for I would try and persuade Ditz to have a trial run, see how she fares, it seems a shame to waste the $ and if she doesn't start to enjoy playing soon, enforce a ban, nothing like not being allowed to do something to make you want to do it more eh? I would have a date where practise starts again so you can make sure Ditz is 'just' burnt out and not training for slothdom ;o)
at least if she does the exam it hasn't been a total waste and the 'school' is off your back.
There y'see you aren't wrong just the timing is wonky :o)
I remember giving up ballet as I couldn't balance any more, we didn't realise it was all part of growing and would have passed, I really missed it and wish someone had prodded me into continuing, I just hated not being any good for a while.
Probably no help, you know Ditz best after all

Ganeida said...

At this point any feedback is useful. I do think the timing is awful but when we made the exam arrangements nothing else was on Ditz's plate & it should have been a smooth run. Murphey's Law again!

I remember ever time Liddy grew or lost weight or gained weight her centre of equilibrium shifted & her soccer game suffered accordingly. Ditz has grown a lot this year ~ physically & emotionally, which is a trial for all of us too. Burn out is probably an accurate term at this point in the year & all we need is a restful holiday. What do you reckon my chances are? :D Yeah, that's what I think too.