Sundays tend not to be quiet. Nice, just not quiet. This is due in part to the fact I am highly disorganized & Saturdays are a contributing factor. Saturdays Ditz has a piano lesson. This tends to be protracted as we are friends & talk. Lots. In the afternoon we *play* soccer. This we write off as our P.E requirement so not to be missed if possible. This week Ditz had to squeeze in an extra drama rehearsal between piano & soccer. This is because the kids are having huge amounts of difficulty nailing their lines. I am getting peeved as every time Ditz just about has hers nailed she gets to pick up someone else's lines because they can't manage the lines they have. This happened last year too & in the end Ditz could just about quote the whole play verbatim. One of the more peculiar versions of Macbeth I've seen. Given I have to do all the extra running around & listen to Ditz learn her lines I'm not happy when extra rehearsals are scheduled & the performance gets moved so it now looks like clashing with Singapore. Not my problem. Drama has been told.
Consequentially Sunday morning usually finds me running round my house like a demented chook straightening, cleaning, tossing salad, peeling veggies, etc so that we are ready when people arrive about 11ish. That everything manages to get done each week is thanks to the grace of God alone.
Doing Revelation means I then work hard mentally. Revelation is not a book I struggle with, being a big picture thinker & all, but I do understand why other people find it difficult & that's why I keep my MacArthur study guide close at hand. He is an exponential preacher so explains scripture line by line. Can't get lost that way.
I know this is not the way things are meant to happen but they do. My house just will not stay clean & tidy for 3 days straight. This week we do not have church. People are away & I just breathed a small quiet sigh of relief. Don't get me wrong. I love our small fellowship but just being able to veg today is blissful.
I need to process some things. Last week's news for one. Last week a young student was kicked to death at his high school. I just can't wrap my head around that one. A fight about a table. A kid in the wrong place at the wrong time. Can you image the phone call that had to be made to his parents? You don't expect, when you drop your kid off at school in the morning that the next place you see them will be the morgue! You just don't. Even given the escalating violence amongst our highschoolers that one is difficult to swallow. What were those kids thinking? Maybe they weren't, which is the whole problem. How tragic for everyone!
One way & another recently I am finding my peace stolen. This is unusual for me. As a rule I'm not only fairly laid~back but I keep my focus on the big picture, Jesus, & try not to sweat the small stuff. [Driving in town is not small stuff but it doesn't steal my peace either.] I have reached a point with the world where I just wish God would send the plagues & be done with it, you know. Yeah, I know. *sigh* I am just so tired of the rudeness, the aggression, the me, me, me mentality, or the idea that your expensive toys are somehow more important than living breathing human beings.
At this point I got my reality check in the form of Mother Theresa. No, not because the good woman single~handedly changed the face of palliative care in India but because for 5 decades God with~held His presence from her! Five decades! Most of her life! Seriously. There are a couple of new books out discussing this very issue & one of those at least is in Mother Theresa's own words in the form of letters to her spiritual advisers.
I know all about the *dark night of the soul*. I don't know a single Christian who hasn't experienced this in some form or other at some time or other along their spiritual journey. I find Quips such as if you find yourself far from God, guess who moved?, particularly annoying & trite. I found Rev. Joseph Neuner's advice to his famous correspondent especially insightful 1. There is no human remedy for it. How freeing is that?! Spot on. 2. Feeling Jesus is not the only evidence of Him being there & 3. her craving for God was proof of His hidden presence in her life.
The other thing I found interesting & insightful stems from Mother Theresa herself. She, apparently, prayed to partake in Christ's agony on the cross. Christ apparently honoured her pray. My God, My God, why has't thou forsaken me? Talk about being careful what you pray for!
So as I go about my day today I will be meditating on these things & being immeasurably grateful for those times when God has forcibly made His presence known in my life