One cowardly Christian running.

As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more; And its place acknowledges it no longer. Psalm 103

The island is a small community, even now when we have a supermarket, an in ground pool, a police station ~ things the rest of the world takes pretty much for granted but are new for us. You might not know all the names of the people you see but you will know the faces, especially if the face belongs to someone who is something of a public figure. When you've been part of the same community for as long as we have you know people. You know their stories & something of their past. No man lives to themselves alone ~ not in a small community.

People do not die in decent obscurity in a small community. They leave a gaping wound when they go. Death is an outrage. So it is. It was never meant to be & our whole being revolts against it.

I'm getting to that age in life where death is an inescapable part of life. I no longer have living grandparents. My father has died & one of my brothers. My favourite aunt. I've attended more funerals than I care to & delivered eulogies. I've wept with the bereaved & grieved for the grief stricken. Turn it any way you like dealing with death is never easy but there is one thing I just have never been able to come to terms with. Quite simply I can not cope with the comforting lies people tell themselves in the face of death.

Funnily enough I can cope with straightforward atheism. That actually makes sense to me. Thinking some of the funny things I've heard people say gives me the creeps. I don't want the departed *looking down* from wherever, or *watching over* me. I just don't. Dead is dead. Gone. As in not here. They aren't coming back. It is appointed unto man to die but once, & then the judgement. No reincarnation ~ thank God!

I do not like attending non~believer's funerals. I need a sign saying: Caution. Woman behaving badly. Seriously. All signs of civilised humanity tend to depart when I hear some of the nonsense people sprook at funerals. It's all I can do to hold my tongue. If there was ever a time for truth surely it is in the face of our inevitable end.

Now I am in a quandary. There has been a death. Someone the kids have known forever. The boys have worked with him, partied at his house, know his wife. He was only a bit older than Dearest & I; still relatively young. I do not want to go to this funeral. I know the kids will want to. I do not want to listen to comforting lies. Especially when I think of where he may be now. It makes me angry. It makes me grieve. I do not know how to reach these people with the truth & the light that Christ brings. I do not know what to say. I shouldn't but I think I'm going to woos out on this one. I think it is better that way. I am not enough like Christ to speak the truth with love.

See how she runs...