"If you think I'm cute you should see my identical twin."
Tomorrow the boys turn 22. That is just a little scary. That's my life walking around somewhere out there.
Thing is I can remember the day they were born clearer than I can remember what I ate for dinner last night & it seems just a second ago I was popping that chocolate cake in the oven while telling Dearest over the phone that there was no point rushing home, the cake would take at least 40 minutes to cook & I was going nowhere until it was out & iced. My man was not impressed. He came home anyway & had a small meltdown of his own at finding his heavily pregnant & in labour wife up to her elbows in laundry & baking. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
What I was thinking is that I don't do boredom well & much of labour, especially in the early stages, is boring so I was occupying my time while using gravity to move things along. Besides I don't like hospitals & I wasn't sick & my obstetrician & I did not see eye to eye on how high risk I was. I did not consider twins high risk; he did. Mind you by the time Ditz came along I was considered an older mother & an even higher risk but seeing I have a major aversion to needles no~one was sticking one of those whopping great things into my unborn baby. Besides, what did they think I was going to do if they thought something was wrong; Abort her? Was never going to happen so a completely pointless exercise.
I can be a leetle stubborn at times & I don't necessarily think dr knows best & Dearest had been told he was to back me up & keep the pariahs at bay OR ELSE! This from a woman who had been flat on her back in hospital for 2 weeks not so long ago because the lads were in the process of arriving waaay too early, early enough to have everyone concerned in a major flap all round. I had a toddler at home who needed me so I was hardly the most restful of patients & I couldn't wait to get out of the place. Going back was not something I was overly keen on doing. Not until I had too but I like to keep the peace where possible so seeing Dearest was getting more than a little worried I rang my doctor ~ who had a complete neurotic meltdown of his own & told me to get my butt in to the hospital. *sigh*
Now in my defense my contractions were barely noticeable & my waters hadn't broken so if you've had a baby you know as well as I do that I was a long way from actually giving birth. However there was a tear in the sac which was making movement interesting & infection was the biggest concern so I allowed myself to be bundled out to the car. Dearest had another flap when he realised I hadn't brought my bag but I seriously expected to be sent back home again though as Dearest pointed out acidly that was never going to happen.
Now my doctor was lovely really. It's why he was my doctor but dealing with a woman high on twin pregnancy hormones was not his forte. He wanted to do a nice safe Caesar. I about had a psychotic meltdown of my own. I am not a carcass to be cut up just because some doctor is a little squeamish about getting sued. Poor Dearest was obligated to back me up but the last thing he wanted was to find he was a single dad. We compromised. The staff broke the waters completely & hooked both boys up to monitors ~ which meant not only was I bored out of my brain I couldn't move either. Theo promptly kicked himself free of the monitor & went & hid. You wouldn't think it was possible in there at fully 9 months gestation but somehow he managed it & the midwife had great fun chasing him all round utero ~ which should have told her he was just dandy, thank you very much!
Now I'm not sure what everyone was thinking at this point. We did all eventually expect 2 babies to arrive but seeing as I had rejected the drip to speed labour along everyone must have thought things were going to take some time & the doctor toddled along to another hospital to perform a Caesar on another hapless woman while I was left to twiddle my thumbs & inwardly curse the medical profession. Even Dearest abandoned me for a much needed cup of coffee. I think he thought he'd need his strength up for the long haul. Trust me, I was not a happy woman.
It never happened. One three ring circus coming up! Within minutes the first contraction hit. It came through like the Edinburgh Flyer & zoomed right off the charts. I took a breath & hit the highest note! The entire obstetrics ward arrived in a flurry. The Matron took one look & was screaming for someone to ring my doctor & the specialist. Dearest counted 30 nurses crammed into the tiny birth room, not one of whom had ever seen a woman give birth naturally to twins before. Those boys were a'comin' & they were a'comin' fast!
I was ready to push but no~one was ready for me. The matron commanded me to hold on in no uncertain terms. Do you have any idea how hard that is when you have two lusty boys just itching to burst on to the world?! Eventually the doctor arrived. I took one look, said, "Can I push now?" & breathed a sigh of relief. The poor man was still in his bloodstained whites having being pulled unceremoniously from his last case & was stripped & scrubbed & regowned while Dino crowned. He was nearly as horrified as I was & we were still waiting on the paediatrician.
Dearest was really impressed by the paediatrician. I was otherwise occupied & unable to pay attention but Dearest says that man caught Dino as his head emerged & had suctioned his lungs before he fully emerged. Ditto Theo who was tiny & practically fell out. It was so fast the doctors unceremoniously shoved Dino at Dearest to hold. Poor man. Newborns used to spook him out. [He got over it fast.]
The whole thing took less than 2 hours, the actual births less than 5 minutes. I had an armful of babies, a crowded roomful of nurses weeping bucketloads & 2 mighty relieved doctors. It was a rather eventful afternoon. Not the sort you forget in a hurry.
Ryan John 6lb 4oz Luke Vincent 4lb 6oz [yeah, I know. Weird or what? It's a twin thing]~ Happy Birthday Dino & Theo!