GANEIDA'S KNOT.

Go mbeannai Dia duit.

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Quaker by conviction, mother by default, Celticst through love, Christ follower because I once was lost but now am found...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Up & down round & round.

You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997
Some people make me so wild! Their ignorance is depressing ~ especially if they also happen to think they are clever & righteous. They leave a bad taste in the mouth & there is nothing you can do to enlighten their darkness because they are basking in the glow of their own superiority. *sigh* Pity, because she might learn something.

The bone of contention is our homechurch ~ as if we randomly & thoughtlessly, prayerlessly & anarchisticly [is that even a word?] went off to do our own thing! Nope. Not like that at all. Not a lot of point dragging all the ins & outs of that decision out because it's done & none of us wants to undo it. Besides Liddy's work schedule meant none of us were ever getting to church. Bummer. Yeah, I just want to go rattle some brains so she's probably lucky I live in another country & another hemisphere on another continent & I will probably completely ignore her snide remarks because the Lord is blessing our Sundays.

Poor Lid. Just as things start heating up someone has to run her back to work but she gets in her worship time & our reading, though not always our discussion time. Just how different church is when it's done in small groups at home was driven home this week. Revelation is not the easiest book to study & I have an expository study guide to hand. During the week I might share with the family about what I'm reading there. Our other family also comes prepared to share what they have read, studied & prayed about during the week. When we come together everyone comes prepared. It's rather a shock when you're used to only one person [the minister] having actually done any study during the week.

Now I find our simple procedure satisfying. Liddy has been choosing the music. Modern, Christian, sometimes loud. None of the rest of us know the songs or the words so we have been forced to listen more closely to the lyrics. What a blessing! The spirit so often touches my heart at this time. I am not the only one who has been blessed by allowing Liddy to share what moves her heart.

Then, as we were sharing, the other lady told us how our time together has brought her closer to the Lord, strengthened her & is helping her to grow. She faces her Sundays with peace, rather than the turmoil a bad church was causing.

Now I'm not against large corporate worship, or organised worship, but the Lord always deals with individuals & so it is with us. We have a unique set of circumstances. My dearest really can't sit for long because of his broken back. At home he has his own special chair & he can last for much longer. We have Liddy. Not only does her work make things difficult but we bear in mind that she may end up on a mission field with no regular church nearby. She needs to learn how to make her own church, how to stay strong when not surrounded by a large church body. Travel is an expensive nightmare & rarely worth the effort. We are free to outreach quite differently. At this point we look like having about 25 people to share the new moon festival with us. 25!!! I quail just at the thought. And snobbishly I don't do small talk. I get so wild about the eyes when church members start on about *fellowshipping* then use that time to make small talk. What is the point? Each week we share a meal but that time is used to continue discussing what we were talking about in church, to share how the Lord has been dealing with us, to discuss Christian things ~ not small talk! OK, so I'm no good at small talk. Shoot me.

There are patterns I wish I knew when I was a young mother that are arising from my study of the festivals that help create a home life centred round Christ through weekly, monthly, yearly ritual. Now I know full well ritual can be empty & meaningless. It can also be richly full. My walk with Christ is deeply satisfying, rich, exciting rather than full of the frustration our old church was causing, fueling sin in my life. And that's one of the quirks in my personality...I would rather be so mentally challenged I'm struggling not to sink & paddling for dear life than comfortably numbed into not having to think at all, which so often happens in a regular church...& regular school...& regular fellowship. Ad nauseaum.

OK, I'll get off my soap box now & return to my regular ramblings. You know, things Celtic & homeschool & why I'm slowly going insane.

18 comments:

seekingmyLord said...

I am *so* not a small talk person. It is just NOT me. Is it a sin for me to be jealous of your "home" church? I think I would love to hear you preach.

As you know, I am in a very small church that meets in what was the parsonage, a small house, and we do have a pretty tight group of people dedicated to the Lord. I like it just as it is, but things never stay the same and the Lord has His own wondrous plans!

The HoJo's said...

*sitting in blissful ignorance here* but I can't quite see why someone would give you grief over home church, erm, isn't that what everyone did before there were churches? surely the building is irrelevant? is it not what people do and say and think and feel that is important in this life not where they are, coz if it is the building that is important I'd better go clean mine or I'm sunk. Not sure I know any one who prepares for church other than polishing their shoes and grabbing a bible.
Quite another matter, but the first time someone asked me where we were fellowshipping, they got a very blank look, not a term I had heard used in the UK. Felt like quite the heathen.

xc

Ganeida said...

Hojos: apparently we need a *proper* minister to teach us. Like we haven't got the Holy Spirit & are too dumb to sort this out ourselves? You are, of course, quite right. Home church is what everyone did once upon a time. Don't mind me. I have let someone bother me over something I shouldn't be bothered about.

The HoJo's said...

is this something forum based? I could never get into forums, too much flaming, well flaming! I suppose you could always do a dodgy online course or buy yourself a certificate :o) that'd meke you *proper*

big smile

xc

Diane Shiffer said...

well honey,as for your critic: let's just sniff and turn up our noses, lol. i personally am envious of your homechurch and if the travel wasn't so far, i'd be joining you every week (assuming i'd be welcome of course;)) i am an odd mix of a person... i am a warm and friendly person and i do the small talk thing just fine, but the truth of it is that i find those types of interactions to be very draining, not encouraging or energizing in the least. i am fortunate in that i attend a small very Biblically focused church, but even so my sunday mornings are more a time of dread rather than anticipation. like you, i am fueled by substantive discussion, and time alone, or with my immediate family.

it's funny... outwardly you and i are quite different i think- even down to our physical appearance, lol. but inwardlt i think we are very very similar♥

Ganeida said...

lol. Hojos: That would set the cat amongst the pigeons.

Ganeida said...

Diane! I missed your post there. I was busy stewing. lol I must be very egocentric or something because everyone who bothers to read here is very like me in some ways ~ or they'd never survive the journey! I *like* people ~ but the small talk thing just exhausts me.

I choose my friends for their ability to out~talk & out~think me! Consider yourself included! You would always be welcome here. If you ever find yourself straying this way on a Sunday morning...

My girls can tell horror stories of what I'm like when I've been bored for too long. I really am a problem child.

Libby said...

would you like me to start, o n what have I missed... seems as though something huh to much time outta the house again :p

seekingmyLord said...

"I choose my friends for their ability to out~talk & out~think me!"

Wow! I *so* have you fooled! ;P

Molytail said...

The yammering person needs to go watch paint dry. You guys do your thing and let sour people be sour. ;-)

>^..^<

Ganeida said...

seeking: I don't think so...

Moly: There's a reason I keep you...;P

Diane Shiffer said...

hmm... might just be worth the trip some sunny sunday;)

Jan Lyn said...

Ganeida,you've yet caused another big grin on my end of things here. Ohhhhh...how this is a topic near and dear to my heart. You just keep on keeping on because each family is individual and has individual needs. Sounds to me as if you've worked things out just fine..actually better than fine! So you go girl! It is wonderful and we do have direct access to the Spirit. I do not "do" small talk well and I do not "do" women's groups especially well. In fact, they cause me to feel the need to run and not stop at times! :)
Our family mixes things all up here on a Sunday.....hubby has his church he attends fairly regularly, but will go to Quaker Meeting with me when I am well enough to get out (very small group maybe 30?) and LOTS of Sundays we are at home alone and go along our way having our own devotional time together, which some times I enjoy best of all. Yeah, I'd say I'd love your home church....don't let others ruffle you unless it causes you to write fun pieces like this!
Thanks....
Jan Lyn

Ganeida said...

You are welcome, Jan Lyn! I'm over my crossness now. I wish I could get to meeting regularly but times & boats & schedules just don't fit & if I insist it breaks the family up & I do believe families are meant to worship together. I also think as we mature & become more secure in Christ we feel freer to walk as the spirit leads rather than as churches & church leaders dictate. Do you think?

seekingmyLord said...

Absolutely!

Ganeida, I knew this one couple who went to Albania to be missionaries without a board! -Gasp!- (How dare they go out without someone to oversee that they are doing it right!) Granted, a missionary board can be supportive, but most missionaries have to raise their own money anyway so...they had a handful of individual supporters and just trusted the Lord to provide for their needs and He did without also without a board! -Gasp!-

I have been in way too many churches where the pastor or leadership did not trust their own people to meet without his or their personal supervision. I always felt this was a lack of trust in the Lord.

As to the home church, I think I would simply write them a short note suggesting that if they are concern about why people left that they should take a look at what is within their church that pushed out the faithful, who recognized it and yet kept their integrity with the Lord to form another. (Of course, I would pray about that first, as I tend to be a troublemaker when it comes to such things.)

Jan Lyn said...

Yes--to answer your question I think much of the organized church has complicated matters and is not based on the Holy Spirit at times. Of course I feel a lightening bolt ready to strike as I say that! LOL..Organized church meets needs--it's a great thing, but not always the answer in my thoughts. I too, hate to split up my family so we try to take our turns together. An interesting read on this topic is Pagan Christianity. The title sounds horrid, but it is not..it goes over a lot of church history and how organized religion has changed matters and not necessarily in a positive way all the time. It mentions the concept of house church, but another book written by the same author (which is slipping my mind!) addresses it more directly. Glad you are feeling better over matters!

Ganeida said...

Jan Lyn: Organised religion does fulfil a need & so I don't dish it but at present it is not meeting our needs. At a different time, in a different location, I would expect to find us back in regular church somewhere...

Seeking: Gladys Alyward comes to mind...along with plenty of others. God looks for the heart submitted to Him, not for the heart supported by church funds. Oooh. That sounds a tad cynical ~ diverting. Leaders are accountable. We are told to test the spirits as well as to honour our leaders but when they walk in sin something needs to be said & if necessary, done.

seekingmyLord said...

Gladys Alyward came to my mind when I met that couple too. What determination and faith she had!