Go mbeannai Dia duit.

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Quaker by conviction, mother by default, Celticst through love, Christ follower because I once was lost but now am found...

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Walking into the New Year.

And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get ~ Matthew 6:16
Since September Dino & I have been discussing doing a longer fast together.  Together because we can strengthen & support each other.  Dino will be working so wants to do a partial fast.  Not sure how this will work as I know virtually nothing about the Daniel Fast though I have found a really good blog on the subject ~ only because it's about food I got bored really fast.

I want to do a water & juice fast. Well, actually, I don't want to do it.  Not really but the Holy Spirit is being pretty insistent.  I want the blessing; I don't want to have to work for it. *sigh*

Anyway, I've been going round & round in my head coming up with all the reasons a longer fast is so not a good idea ~ & all the reasons why it is a really, really good idea because I know the first 24 hours are going to be horrible as the caffeine in my system dwindles to nothing but there are things in my life I want to break & there are promises I want to claim. 

We've never done New Year resolutions.  Superstitious nonsence & I know perfectly well every single resolution will get broken sooner rather than later, so why bother beginning?  But this year I want something different.  This year I want to position myself so I can accept the fulness of what God has for me.  I want to begin my year by dedicating myself more fully to the one who died to claim me.  I can sense a growing movement of the Spirit & the massing of oppossing armies in the spiritual realms & I want to be ready.

Very reluctantly I have been trying to psyche myself up for this.  Just thinking about it makes me feel tired. I haven't even begun & I want to quit.

So there I was, the days dwindling away, the hours counting down & yummy food still in my cupboards.  Somebody should hurry up & eat it!  Anyway, I have had an epiphany: The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  It is the flesh that has to die.  Not such a great epiphany.  No except for one thing; I have been made very aware that my flesh is one thing; my spirit is something else entirely.

I have been dreaming ~ not unusual for me.  I dream vividly in technicolour big screen splendour.  Always have.  Dearest has always complained because of the intensity & realism of my dream life.  He's got the blame for a lot of stuff that he knows nothing about while I reel in the aftershock of my dreams.  However this time the dreaming is different.  It does not have that dream~like quality & what I am dreaming about is the proposed fasting.  And here is where it gets interesting because fleshly little me is still squirming looking for the loop~hole that will get me out of this but my spirit is rejoicing.  Exaulting.  Thrilled to bits.  Anticipitatory.  Excited.  Dancing a little spiritual jig inside me.  *sigh*

I didn't have to say anything & no~one would ever know whether I did it or not but if I keep quiet I don't have to be accountable.  This way I am accountable. Water.  Juice.  Broth. I have no idea how I will go because I've never gone quite so long before & I know my weak points will be as I have to get dinner for the rest of my household & I'm tired, grumpy & low on energy.  If you can spare them I covet your prayers.  Yes indeedy. 

Oh, & in case you're wondering, this after months of virtual silence from the Lord so I'm listening up as hard as I can.  The best way I know to sharpen my spiritual hearing is to discipline myself through fasting.  I am such a sloth.  I can really enjoy puddling in the murky spiritual backwaters rather than working out my salvation with fear & trembling.  So donning the armour, girding the loins.  I think I need to mention to the Lord I'm a pacifist ~ only I guess He knows that & has other plans! Oh well.


seekingmyLord said...

Oh, my! I feel like that pretty much for every fast beyond a day like the one I do weekly. I still think the third day is the worst one.

I will be starting my fast in about a week and it will most likely be for two weeks, unless the Lord has other plans, so I think we should be ending about the same time.

This one will be water and about 2 to 4 ounces of milk a day--an indulgence so that I can sleep well and keep warm. It is harder to fast in the winter for me because I get cold so easily.

Ganeida said...

Seeking: Yes I find the winter harder because I suffer from the cold & am actually hungry. Summer is much easier so now is the time to do a longer fast.