Go mbeannai Dia duit.

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Quaker by conviction, mother by default, Celticst through love, Christ follower because I once was lost but now am found...

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Missionary's Mother.

Knickerbocker, Knickerbocker, number nine

He likes to dance and he keeps in time

Now let's get the rhythm...
I have lost the rythmn of my days.  This makes me a cross & ratty woman.  The house is a mess.  This depresses me but the thought of cleaning it all up depresses me more. I prefer to do my housework late at night because there is something extremely satisfying in knowing that unless the fridge raiders go completely beresk my work will stay that way for at least 8 hours.  Nothing depresses me more than having everything neat & tidy & some ape come along & promptly turn it into a  pigsty again!  Unfortunately I have a light sleeper who screams at the first chink of china.
I have lost the particle of time I had carved out for bible study & prayer .  Dearest has changed his sleeping & waking patterns so now I must needs find a new iota of time ~ something not easily done in this house!
I am not one of those happy women who can run their own, & everybody else's, lives with aplomb.  I'm a potterer & a ditherer & sad to say halfway through cleaning up I am likely to start reading whatever I've just picked up & get completely sidetracked.  This sad lack of focus does not apply to reading or study.
If I had the backbone of a jellyfish I'd just get stuck into it & do it.  I don't.  I tentatively poke at it.  If it moves I run for the hills.  Three times this week I've psyched myself to tackle my house.  Three times I've planned my attack in my head.  Three times Liddy has popped up to skype!  Once was to chat.  Once ~ who knows?  Once for our cheesecake recipe.
Good grief!  And this woman calls herself a Christian! Cleanliness is next to godliness, right?  How on earth did such a Ditz end up with one child on the mission field & another preparing to go?  Well, I'll let you into a secret; I didn't have anything to do with it.
I mightn't be able to manage my life without a massive meltdown but that's ok; God's got my back.  He's got a head for details.  He doesn't forget anything.  He hasn't forgotten I promised Him my children back.  He hasn't forgotten that every night of their growing years we prayed that they would love & serve God.  This is not liscense to be lacksadaisical.  It just means God can plug my holes because He does know what I'm like.  All the trying in the world is not going to magically turn me into a competant housekeeper or a  purposeful parent.  It does mean He gets all the glory.
And however strange my parenting may sometimes have been it served it's purpose.  The picture is of Liddy aged about 12 months.  She is wearing the most gorgeous little dress her Ma made her & she looked like the most beautiful little doll ever, very sober & just walking.  We took her to a family wedding with all the Aunts & cousins who are completely baby mad & swooped on her ooohing & aaahing & wanting to pick her up & squeeze her with cuddles ~ an operation that mortified Liddy.  She spent the whole weekend screaming for her mother any time anyone else so much as looked at her!  Her mother complied.  Nothing much has changed.  Liddy pops up on skype, I'll answer.  The house can go hang!


Bonnie said...

And right you are! Nothing is as important as Skyping with the girl! Hope you saved that dress--it's beautiful! Olivia is still quite bashful around loads of people. I have to admit--that I don't mind at all. She cans stay Momma's little girl as long as she wants to! :-)

Bonnie said...
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Bonnie said...
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Julie said...

I love your honesty, your whimsy, your faith, and this blog post.

Ruby said...

Wow. Gorgeous photo of you and Liddy!
Your housekeeping skills are in no way under judgement from this quarter. I too would give much for a quiet stretch of time to clean and then no one come along for oh....a least a day or two!
Have a great week.

joyfulmum said...

ah Ganeida, me thinks that under all the 'ditz' as you put it, you are a person after God's heart and that's why your children are doing great! it's our spirit and who we are underneath it all is what is transferred to our kids me thinks:)

Anonymous said...

I looove that blouse you're wearing!