Do you ever feel inadequate at life? I mean the world is full of amazing people & me, I can't even fry fish. Not that I want to learn or anything but there's all the rest of it. Stuff I reckon I should have figured out by now like how to raise kids to the glory of God. Heck, just knowing how to raise kids would be good. People have written books on this stuff & I get google eyed. I read this stuff & go, Really? This works? Then I think about my kids & go, Nah. Never going to happen.
It's pathetic, really it is. Take evangelism. For someone who talks so much I have never figured this one out. How do you do it? I've seen it done. I've had it done to me & I'm always like, Come again? What was that all about? And church. I am really, really bad at doing church. I see people heading my way & the spoilt brat inside starts screaming. Nooooooo. Please, please don't talk to me. Find someone else to pester & I never, ever know what to say to these people. Maybe it's because I don't do well with small talk. I'm always a little vague about things like the price of eggs in the fish market on Fridays. I do slightly better with things like Happy Easter if the other person copes well with a response about Eostre & the sun symbolism in the Basilica. I should just respond, Happy Easter & leave it at that, shouldn't I? So why don't I?
Consequentially I treasure my friendships. Anyone willing to put up with my idiosyncrasies has a spot in my heart. So when I noticed my friend's posts were drifting further from Christianity & into Neo~Paganism I didn't say anything. Not my business. My liking or not liking her is not dependant on what she believes. I felt no imperative to point out the error of her ways. I never noticed Christians ever being able to change anyone's mind for them. That's the prerogative of the Holy Spirit. I know she's heard the gospel & so I kept my mouth firmly shut. Yeah, I know all the arguments ~ but please! wasted effort to go over old ground.
Then my friend decided to 'fess up. Not sure why given she's pretty much lost all her Christian friends over this issue. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have risked that & it's not like she didn't know where I stand. Now she has decided I am a good person to discuss religion with & I'm like, Whoa!!! Are you sure you want to go here with me? Because I do actually know something about Paganism. Remember history is my thing but I don't do politics. If you are into history but not politics what's left is culture & religion. I do both those.
How did I get here? And now what do I do? Because there is only one thing I know of that can change my friend's mind: a personal encounter with the Living God; the God of Abraham & Issac & Jacob. I can muster all my logic & all my apologetics & all the proofs at my disposal & it will never lead anyone into the Truth. One touch from the Living God & all that changes. In an instant.
Some days I feel like a toad who has lost his harrow. Some days I don't do life well. Like today. Maybe I'll just go back to bed & have a nice long nap. Maybe things will look better tomorrow. Maybe.