"In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.- Frank McKinney Hubbard
Once upon a life there was a woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she didn't know what to do....so she planted a vegetable garden. And ran chooks. She grew fruit trees. And somewhere along the way she grew very, very tired. The chooks died, as chooks do. The children left home, as children do. The vegetable patch became overrun with weeds. She was looking forward to life on the computer & then...
...the children began returning like boomerangs!
"Why," Dino wanted to know, "was the vegetable patch in such a disreputable state? Where were the veggies?" The woman just looked at him. He was young, strong & healthy. She was losing her teeth, her limbs ached, & she already had one foot in the grave. [Do you remember that t.v show?] "Really, mother! Must I do everything myself?" And he proceeded to dig & hoe, hoe & dig throwing all the weeds into the compost as well as a good many useful plants that had been lurking in there somewhere. [shh. I snuck out & retrieved them & planted them elsewhere]
"On Saturday," Dino informed me, "I will plant the vegetables." I remained very, very quiet. "If I'm home."
I know what will happen. It's happened before. My children put in a huge garden then depart for regions unknown. I am left to mulch & water a huge area on those rare occasions I am actually in my home [& please do remember we have the Gothic coming up with all the extra rehearsal time that will entail.] Then, THEN, I have a glut of crops & no~one to eat them. I will find myself door knocking on my neighbours' doors begging them to relieve me of tomatoes, cucumbers & beans.
I find it odd that my children do not consider a house a home unless it has a vegetable garden wherein they can wander randomly like grazing cows. One day, instead of rushing round the countryside like a mad thing indulging my delusional youngest child I will devote myself to the simple things in life: purring cats, good chocolate & veggies straight from the garden to yours truly.