Two impossible things I don't believe.

" Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast..."

Lewis Carrol.

I subscribe to Hamlet's philosophy ~ More things in heaven & earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy ~ so I was always the nerd, the geek, with just enough sporting prowess & social nuance to save me from complete social ostracism throughout school but the fact remains, I'm a geek. I forget to feed people; learning to cook early was a survival strategy in this house. I cook with a book to hand & I can assure you it's not the cookbook! I burn food because I forget I'm supposed to be cooking it, not incinerating it. I cook amongst tubes of oil paints, turps & thinners. I fail to see dust bunnies [who on earth looks under furniture unless they've dropped the spare change?]. I develop neurosis about quite ordinary things like driving into Brisbane but I can give you a point by point critique of poems you've never heard of, books you've never read, obscure artists & dead civilisations. I've been known to submerge so far into my writing my sons have dismantled the house about me without me noticing.

I am aware this makes me something of an oddity in any sort of social setting. Who on earth wants to discuss the price of cabbages & how many ways you can cook beans when someone has just postulated a brand new theory on what the Romans were doing in Britain in 2ndBC? And why on earth would you interrupt such a fascinating diversion to eat?! I know this is not considered good social etiquette even in secular circles. Amongst Christians, especially Christians of the Titus2 ilk, it practically puts me beyond the pale. [BTW, do you want to know the origin of the saying, beyond the pale, because I can tell you?]

Just so you know, I am aware of my failings in the area of practical living. It's true I spend far too much time in my head chasing dead red herrings. I have a head full of information that contributes nothing tangible to any one's existence & give very little consideration to how best to manage my home because on the whole the house manages very well without me, being a house & an inanimate object & all. I do not consider myself any one's role model. In fact, the mere thought horrifies me.

That being said, Dearest cheerfully passes his thorny theological questions over to me & I spend many happy hours researching, comparing, analysing because, let's face it, it's what I do best. In amongst all the other clutter in my head I have neat files on theology, scripture, Jewish culture, Roman idiosyncrasies & allied matters. I have been referred to on occasion as *the walking encyclopedia* ~ not a term applicable in the areas of math or science but I'm good for archaeological cross~referencing, obscure scriptural quotes & the sort of background trivia that would serve me well on a trivia challenge show. Got a question? I'm your gal ~ & if I don't know I know how to find out!

There is nothing in the least special about what I do. If you can read & think you can cross reference; you can research; you can draw conclusions from the evidence. Dearest relies on me to tidy his ideas into some sort of order. If I find out anything interesting I enjoy sharing. I enjoy sharing the insights God gives me with our little home group too. Yep. I'm still the one most likely: to know the physical specifics of crucifixion [trust me; you don't want to know]: which ethnic group the Galatians were affiliated with: where to find the meaning of that root Hebrew word. It's not that I have the time so much as that's the way my mind works. I am easily diverted from cleaning the loo by such things. I will happily rabbit on forever given the least encouragement. Ask my kids ~ who don't encourage me! For me it's just the gift the Holy Spirit gave me & where I operate most comfortably. The people I really admire are those with the gift of helps; those down~to~earth practical types who can see a need & meet it with practical applications. I just stand in awe & gape. [Isn't gape a lovely word?!]

Today's meeting, wherein I read a half dozen scriptures on the Holy Spirit, made a couple of comments & then opened it up for discussion was rather dominated by the more self~confident & opinionated members & with 5 of us busily bandying ideas about it was far too easy for our 2 quieter members to sink into obscurity. I am very sensitive to this realising it can be very hard for less secure people to make themselves heard [as I learnt in Uni] so I double~checked they were fine before we rounded things up.

Dearest & I are in agreeance that we need to try & keep everyone on the same page, so to speak. I was shocked to be told that our Sundays are giving everyone much to think about during the week & that they are once again excited about the scriptures & eagerly delving into God's word for themselves. I was shocked to find that I amaze anyone, let alone anyone in our little home group who are all amazing people themselves. I am also humbled, extraordinarily so, that anything God has used me for has actually mattered. Don't ask me why, but I always think my contributions are far to small to be of any consequence to anyone!

Cheerfully catching up with my beloved Indian friend over lunch & chatting homeschool because this year she will have 3 to teach, she reminded me that I had assured her that if I could homeschool anyone could do it. I'm pretty sure I told her more than once. She eventually took the plunge & found that yes, she too can homeschool successfully! Apparently I am her inspiration. It is a sobering thought. I never aimed on being any one's inspiration in anything. It seems I am entering the *older women* category who are to refrain from much wine & teach the younger women how to love their husbands & children. Now there's a scary thought!