I Have A Cat.

Once, in Ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. Anon


I have this cat; a big, boofy, sook of a cat who has been known to cry inconsolably when deprived of my company. I have a gentle loving moggy who guards me like a tiger but there is another side to Mr Issi. Mr Issi is something of a Jekyll & Hyde.


It is well known that cats chase things: mice & balls & pieces of string. The occasional cat will hunt snakes with single minded devotion. Very few will take on a full grown goanna. The largest goanna I've seen around here was over 8'. Ones between 4' & 5 ' are common ~ too big for most cats. Not for Iss apparently. Ditz reports that while Dearest & I were on the mainland last week Iss took a flying leap of our verandah to grab the tail of one of these monsters. The lizard, not surprisingly & taken unawares, shot up the nearest tree with Iss clinging determinedly to his tail.


I think my cat is short the full quid. A roo short in the top paddock. A slice short of a full loaf. Brainless. My neighbours are complaining. All our neighbours own dogs. Little yappy dogs. I'm not a dog person but I'm not adverse to dogs ~ just the little yappy pretend versions of dogs. Whatever. Live & let live is my motto but my neighbours will walk their dogs past our place, parading by as if they own the whole section.


Now Iss is an alpha male. I've never met a cat who is so determinedly territorial & the sight of all these little yappy things parading past his house with their tails in the air & their snouts to the ground fuels Issi's testosterone. He has spied out the land. He has found sniper positions. He has initiated guerrilla tactics. He knows the enemy & he knows where they live. At the appointed times he sneaks out of the house, takes up his position & waits...waits till the dog has passed him then leaps onto it's back. More than one dog has had a whole batch of kittens right there on the spot becoming completely hysterical.


My cat is quite wicked my neighbours tell me but I don't walk my cat past their houses with his tail carried high & his nose sniffing excitedly. [I take no responsibility for what Iss does himself.] Of course they could walk the other way but our end of the road has all the vacant paddocks where dogs can do their doggy business & they do all know Iss lives here. So do their dogs. The dogs are starting to sink to their bellies & drag at the leash anywhere near our place. I think Iss is a bit of a bully. Do they do reform school for cats?