Quitting

If you are walking with Jesus, in the Spirit, you need not fear going too far. No believer has gone as far as God wants him to go.~ A. A. Allen

 

Surfer's.

With the Indy happening this weekend the place was even more congested than usual.  Not that it made any difference to me.  I concede defeat.  I am not an evangelist, no matter what anointing people seem to think there is on the witness.

I scribbled a couple of verses in the wet sand, realised the tide was coming in not going out, went & sat under a tree on the boardwalk & watched the passing parade...

Which included a barge that had got lost, was inside the shark net, did a 360 & headed back out to sea.  Who knows.

And a street musician.

I'm not usually a quitter.  I usually dig my heels in, stubborn past the point of stupidity ~ & it's not fear because I spent over 1/2 an hour chatting with the lady who took up residence beside me on the bench.  But she was a spirit~filled born again Christian & this is what invariably happens to me!  I hone in on Christians. 

And that's the other thing.  I am not an initiator.  It's not that I dislike people & despite my anti~social tendencies I have been very well trained & always put my book down when someone wants to chat with me.  Nope.

Seriously.  It's scary what goes on in my world.  I always lug a book around.  Yes, I'm a reader but I also travel a lot.  I wait around a lot.  Invariably I fill the empty minutes with printed words.  I do it at school too.  Ten minute breaks are not generally long enough to have a proper conversation.  I can't remember the last time I started a conversation.  But I've always got people coming coming up to chat with me ~ & I get seriously dumped on, which is scariest of all.  What on earth sort of vibes do I give out that invites other people's deep dark secrets?!  I'm not complaining.  I just think it's weird.

It's weird because I understand the anointing.  I preach under the anointing ~ or believe me I'd never get up & say a word in church!  I know what it is to operate in the power & authority of the Holy Spirit.  So where is it when we evangelize?

I know it can't be manafactured.  I know it can't be manipulated.  I know it can't be mimicked.  Theoretically every Christian is anointed to share the gospel.  Theoretically.  I also know there is nothing harder than operating without the anointing ~ & nothing more damaging  to the Gospel.  I'm over it.

I think I have 2 more of these to do next year.  It's school & I have to go out but I'm done.  I give up.  This is one subject that's totally defeated me.