If you are walking with Jesus, in the Spirit, you need not fear going too far. No believer has gone as far as God wants him to go.~ A. A. Allen
With the Indy happening this weekend the place was even more congested than usual. Not that it made any difference to me. I concede defeat. I am not an evangelist, no matter what anointing people seem to think there is on the witness.
I scribbled a couple of verses in the wet sand, realised the tide was coming in not going out, went & sat under a tree on the boardwalk & watched the passing parade...
Which included a barge that had got lost, was inside the shark net, did a 360 & headed back out to sea. Who knows.
And a street musician.
I'm not usually a quitter. I usually dig my heels in, stubborn past the point of stupidity ~ & it's not fear because I spent over 1/2 an hour chatting with the lady who took up residence beside me on the bench. But she was a spirit~filled born again Christian & this is what invariably happens to me! I hone in on Christians.
And that's the other thing. I am not an initiator. It's not that I dislike people & despite my anti~social tendencies I have been very well trained & always put my book down when someone wants to chat with me. Nope.
Seriously. It's scary what goes on in my world. I always lug a book around. Yes, I'm a reader but I also travel a lot. I wait around a lot. Invariably I fill the empty minutes with printed words. I do it at school too. Ten minute breaks are not generally long enough to have a proper conversation. I can't remember the last time I started a conversation. But I've always got people coming coming up to chat with me ~ & I get seriously dumped on, which is scariest of all. What on earth sort of vibes do I give out that invites other people's deep dark secrets?! I'm not complaining. I just think it's weird.
It's weird because I understand the anointing. I preach under the anointing ~ or believe me I'd never get up & say a word in church! I know what it is to operate in the power & authority of the Holy Spirit. So where is it when we evangelize?
I know it can't be manafactured. I know it can't be manipulated. I know it can't be mimicked. Theoretically every Christian is anointed to share the gospel. Theoretically. I also know there is nothing harder than operating without the anointing ~ & nothing more damaging to the Gospel. I'm over it.
I think I have 2 more of these to do next year. It's school & I have to go out but I'm done. I give up. This is one subject that's totally defeated me.