GANEIDA'S KNOT.

Go mbeannai Dia duit.

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Quaker by conviction, mother by default, Celticst through love, Christ follower because I once was lost but now am found...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Prayers, Please.

"The man who is called by God is a man who realizes what he is called to do, and he so realizes the awefulness of the task that he shrinks from it. Nothing but this overwhelming sense of being called, and of compulsion, should ever lead anyone to preach." ~ David Martyn Lloyd-Jones








I don't know which I hate more: being wrong ~ or being right for reasons that send me into a panic. 

There is a reason I live where I do in my stagnant little backwater that doesn't even have one set of traffic lights,  where the Postie asks your opinion on internet access & the young jailbirds down the front still call me Mrs H in very respectful tones ~ & leave my car alone when they're looking for free petrol.  I appreciate the little things in life ~ like my petrol staying in my car & not mysteriously vanishing while I'm on the mainland. 

 Mostly I feel I can cope.  I can't get lost.  The traffic is never stressful.  The library is brilliant; even now I have half a dozen new, unread books from there I picked up yesterday in anticipation of this week's travelling.  As a homeschooler I'm no longer obligated to participate overmuch  in community things like the school fete, the Christmas Parade, The Girl Guides.  Been there; done that; over it.  I no longer work outside my home ~ don't work much inside it either, but that's another ball game.  

 And God is good.  When the church over here fell apart God gave me amazing on~line friendships.  Extra bonus.  I cope very well with distance friendships.  What I don't cope so well with is being bodily dumped out of my comfort zone.  Without warning.  Without so much as a by~your~leave.  Without consultation.  Yes, I know it makes no difference in the long run but I do like to be consulted about these things.

And it's horrible.  Really, really horrible.  I have the art of self~delusion down pat.  I know many of you, not all but many of you, people who's friendship I treasure, whose opinions I respect, whose theology has proved sound, do not approve of women in the pulpit.  And I have been happily scooting along because we haven't had a church & technically I haven't been behind a pulpit in years so no conflict of interest!  None at all.  Anything I do on~line I can fob off in my mind as *Thinking Out Loud*.  I do a lot of that.  I happily abdicated the pulpit to those who wanted it.  I overturned what I knew very clearly, if I was honest with myself, what God had shown me was not just *for a season*  ~ but as I couldn't more forward & also felt I had been told to *wait*, I waited...with infinite patience.  I have never liked being in the firing line & was in no hurry to put me back there.

I did such a good job that when I asked God about Rhema I fully expected to hear No.  Not now.   So great is my ability to wear blinders I comforted myself that we didn't have the money so part of the confirmation would be the money.  You know what's happened, don't you? *sigh*.  I consoled myself that I might have heard wrong?  Hope dies hard.  I have not.  People are crawling out of the woodwork to confirm this.

The papers have arrived.  I knew what was on them because I filled out Dino's for him.  Dino doesn't like paperwork.  And there it was, the question that stripped the blinkers away.  Are you called to the Ministry?  In what capacity? I didn't even have to think about it.  It has never changed ~ ever, not since God first showed me the unsaved cluttering the pews on Sundays. 

I don't know how Jonah managed it.  It has always boggled my mind that Jonah managed to refuse the urgings of the Holy Spirit.  I'm not that strong.  When the Spirit spoke it was with a terrible sense of urgency because Christ is coming.  Even now he stands at the very door.  The time grows short ~ so whatever you personally believe please pray that I will be obedient to the call God has placed on my life because nothing about this is going to be easy & I think Star's about to have a conniption.

There is a big, fat, unhappy toad squatting in the pit of my stomach. 

13 comments:

Ruby said...

"I know many of you, not all but many of you, people who's friendship I treasure, whose opinions I respect, whose theology has proved sound, do not approve of women in the pulpit."

We both know that I fall into this group ;-) but as you have become a dear friend and I know your heart is earnest for the Lord, I shall pray and as always say, "Thy will be done Oh Lord."

Ganeida said...

lol Ruby! I wish you could stand in my shoes on this for just 1/2 a minute ~ & then tell me! I'm not sure you would even believe what the Lord has shown me in prayer. It terrifies me. But you are a good friend & I treasure your prayers even though I know you don't understand & don't agree. ♥♥♥

seekingmyLord said...

For some this is a doctrine issue, but I see it as obedience issue. My thinking is, if God were as concerned about your gender being against His own law for the task He purposed for you, you would have been born a man.

I believe all those who are called by the Lord to do a thing should just do it and please Him.

joyfulmum said...

Ganeida I just want to hug you ( though I am not a huggy person!) well, I preach (teach more like it) and so do other women in my movement of churches but I think you already gathered that in the past:) I will be praying for you. One things for sure ....the call of God is irrevocable and it seems like God has placed that in you....to preach....it certainly comes out in your blog posts lol!
Go for it girl!

HomeGrownKids said...

I am not in a pentecostal church (although I am Pentecostal in the true sense of the word) but know that i will be praying for you as you go about doing His Will. He will lead you and guide you... and the Holy Spirit will give you utterance and clear direction, my friend.

HomeGrownKids said...

I am not in a pentecostal church (although I am Pentecostal in the true sense of the word) but know that i will be praying for you as you go about doing His Will. He will lead you and guide you... and the Holy Spirit will give you utterance and clear direction, my friend.

Jeanne said...

You know that I am in the Ruby camp as well, and yet I know that you will listen for that small quiet voice and will heed what He says. I'm excited for you, my friend.

Julie B. said...

Add me to the list of friends who will faithfully pray for you, dear Ganeida. I think you should google Steven Curtis Chapman's song "The Great Adventure," and listen to it carefully....that message is certainly for you if it is for anyone... xxoo

Ganeida said...

Seeking: You know I agree. It's not a question of will I jump but High or Long, Lord? How far?

Rosemary: you are so encouraging! ☺ I am very easily intimidated so I just want to hug you back & say, Thanks for that!

Susan: lol Another kindred spirit moment I suspect! You know sometimes I complain the Holy Spirit is whispering so soft I can't hear a thing. Then when He speaks up loud & clear I have a meltdown. Obviously I'm hard to please!

Jeanne: I wish I was excited for me. Unfortunately I am not able to hide from that voice. Dearest was told years ago by very dear friends that he needed to cultivate an unjealous spirit & take Acts2:17 to heart because it was very much for our family. I don't think God cares very much about our church doctrines ~ not as much as we do anyway.

Julie: Ah, my dear friend. You are balm for the heart! Will check that out.

ALL: How do you feel about being my guinea pigs ~ because you know what's going to happen, don't you? HeeHee.

seekingmyLord said...

Bring it!

Anonymous said...

I always enjoy your posts, especially when you share what God has shown you and the direction He is leading you in. Please continue to share here on your blog. You will be in my prayers.

Happy Elf Mom said...

Ganeida, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It matters that you are obedient to what God shows you to do next. Prayers always for you and your beautiful family!

Ganeida said...

Seeking: I shall remind you of this moment when you complain! ;P Megan? Thank you. ☺ Being the talkive sort & completely unable to reside a blank computer screen you are likely to get your wish! lol HEM: You are so right ~ but for a long time This has been my Christian community & so I don't like to ruffle feathers unnecessarily. I try to word things carefully & having done my research all the way back to the Greek I am comfortable with women doing those things traditionally reserved for males. I saw a great quote last night; one worth remembering: someday when Christ asks me to account for how i used my gifts, "the boys wouldn't let me" will not be an acceptable answer. ~ Bryne Helen Lewis.