Ganeida's Knots

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. ~Kathy Norris

I am deeply & illogically insecure.  This is not a mature, adult, position to take so mostly I pretend that I'm as competent as the next person & swan round make~believing I can actually manage my life.

It's not true, you know.

This week the hot water system blew up.  There was this most enormous bang in the middle of the night & the sulphuric smell of fried wiring.  And somewhere in my deeply illogical brain I wondered if, if I ignored it, it would somehow have magically fixed itself by the morning.  It had not.  The hot water was cold.

I hate dealing with tradesmen.  I only ever want them when something has gone wrong & they always want to tell me things I don't want to hear ~ like, "Lady, your hot water system is screwed.  I can patch it together for you but the sooner you replace it the better."  And in my head I have this long list of reasons why that is not going to happen any time soon & why I will be giving the problem to *The Money Man* just as soon as he crawls out of bed.  And why, when I have multiple men in the house, am I the one discussing electricity & hot water systems, which I most emphatically do not understand, with the tradie?

And then there was the external hard drive thingie ~ which I got to buy having had a most disturbing discussion with a young & incredibly arrogant young man who made it quite clear he knew perfectly well I had no idea what I was talking about. OK, so it is true I was totally clueless but I was parroting what I'd been told very nicely & we would have done much better if he had just explained simply & clearly because that is the nice, polite thing to do when you are dealing with a clueless older lady who then has to go home & try & explain what she most emphatically did not understand to the MOTH [man of the house], because he's the Money Man who gets to say whether we actually spend that exorbitant amount of money for something now neither of us understands.

And there was the fridge ~ which made strange noises & decided it no longer wanted to be a fridge or freeze my meat or do any of the things for which it was given ample kitchen space.  Instead it wanted to grow strange fungi on my vegetables & yoghurt my milk & do other unmentionable things I didn't want it to do ~ & therefore required replacing. Too much drama.  If I want drama I talk to Star.

See I don't do well with life.  It is all just a little overwhelming & most of it I don't get.  I understand things like the Culdees & Arthur & how the Vikings moved their longships across open ground & the genetics of red hair ~ all of which is perfectly useless ~ but the insides of my car engine is a mystery to me ~ & not one I particularly want to solve.  Fridges & hard drives & hot water systems are just plain boring.  My eyes glaze & I have this most awful tendency to shrug & step around them.  Dead is dead & replacing them means another problem further down the track & it's getting old, this buying stuff just so it can break down.

I have reverted to type.  I am reading the latest archaeological take on Arthur & the piles of new evidence that change everything.  Books are nice & clean & the blood doesn't leak everywhere & stain the furniture.