Sunday, January 29, 2012
Not what I was expecting?
Worth it after all ? ~ Garrison Starr
So what happened with the fast? Honestly, the woman has a flibberty~gibbert mind, can't concentrate on anything for 2 minutes at a time! Well, actually I can, just other things got in the way. It gets complicated because you can't hold God to ransom & I reached a point towards the end when I really wondered what I was doing ~ besides missing out on some really good food [& who did steal my cornetto out of the freezer anyway?!] & getting rattier & rattier as I tried to juggle the complicated mess my life suddenly became.
Fasting is interesting because it is never what you think it is going to be when you begin your fast. I had a long list of things I wanted to lay before the Lord ~ family things & there are some of you who have asked me to pray for specific needs at different times; anything still unresolved went down on the table again, but just because I wanted to talk about stuff didn't mean that was what was on the Lord's mind. Uh, uh.
One of the things I wanted to talk to the Lord about was Dino because Dino felt he was supposed to be in bible school & heading into some sort of ministry. Confirmed all round as we all went into prayer about this with Dino but over the years Dino has made some really poor choices which naturally came back to bite him ferociously on the bum so although the spirit was willing there were some major roadblocks in his way: still on his learners, no savings, no bible college...yadda yadda & I really thought the Lord would be more interested in having a chat about the whole sorry mess, don'tcha know but nada. The Lord wanted to talk to me about stuff in my life ~ & no, I did not want to talk about that. I'm just dull. My sins aren't of the spectacular variety. I mean if you're determined to be a sinner you should be the best sinner possible don't you think? Ok, maybe that's a little out there...
Anyway Someone had mentioned Rhema to us & we went visiting because we still aren't real settled in a church. We went to the Friday night service because nights work for us & Dearest & I both went "Sabbath!" & thought it was a really great way to begin our Sabbath. [This is to do with the fast. Be patient.] Rhema has a bible college attached & within minutes of mentioning our interest someone was dragging Dino away to chat about it some more & give him the paperwork to look over & make sure he knew when classes began. Dearest was keen on church. I went hmmm.....I'm the cautious sort when it comes to churches. Star was freaking because half the youth group surrounded her & asked the Dreaded Question: So which school do you go to? Then Star & I went away.
Dino had been at great pains to remind me that often the blessing doesn't happen during a fast. It happens after & here is what has been happening after: Dino's driving manual got passed so I rang & booked Dino's test; the test is for the day his first class starts so we will be over on the mainland anyway; It is booked for the time we arrive back in the shire & was the first available time; His tax return will be exactly what he needs to cover his tuition & books; the course is Centre~link accredited so he will have a small income & can put fuel in my mainland car; Classes don't clash with Star's stuff; I will have to go with him to orientation & the first day [please pray he passes his test or we will have a major nightmare on our hands!!!] but the first thing that got said to me [remembering I'm a lurker & it was Dearest who was getting all excited & chatting to people] was, Why aren't you taking classes too? Umm....I have Star....Now Dino is talking about when I can start classes & Dearest is juggling money so I can start classes. What is with this? I haven't even asked the Lord about it yet!
So we toddled back on Sunday with all Dino's paperwork & went to Sunday morning service. Dearest is happy. Star's half~asleep; mornings are not her thing. I was prepared to endure some truly awful music & ho~hum preaching. Saying I was a reluctant participant is putting it mildly. Not that I had said anything because Dearest is the spiritual head, right?, & there was a good bit more at stake that a Sunday morning church service but I had a real heaviness of spirit & a migraine kicking in, so thrilled to bits I was not.
I know about corporate worship. The key word is worship ~ not corporate & after about 5 minutes of being majorly distracted by the hand waving & the clapping & the general bibbing & bobbing about to music I didn't know & didn't appreciate I felt the Lord say, Well, why don't you sit down, shut your eyes & worship as usual. Lightbulb moment ~ so I did. The music bothered me far less & I let the actual words minister to me. I just became a non~participatory participant. Then the preaching began. Yes! For the first time in a long time I wasn't screaming inside at getting fed slop, or worse, incorrect slop. Do I have a critical spirit? You betcha! Our critical faculties were given to us for a reason. It's misapplying them is the problem.
So this is Dino's last week landscaping. On Saturday he goes to orientation. On Monday he begins classes. And this is how I know our God is a God of miracles: Dino hated school & doesn't even have a year 10 leaving certificate. All he ever wanted to do was fish ~ for which he didn't need school. It's taken a shattered shoulder & some serious disciplinary action on the Lord's part but the Lord finally got his attention & now has him where He wants him to be! One by one the Lord is mowing our lot down to keep the promise He made to me that His word would not depart from our house & that all of our children would be taught of Him. Blessed be the name of the Lord God Almighty.