The things I learn.

He had to stoop a little to accommodate me, but if Miss Stephanie Crawford was watching from her upstairs window, she would see Arthur Radley escorting me down the sidewalk, as any gentleman would do. Harper Lee. Since I first read Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird way back when, I have been in love with this book. Periodically, when I happened to think of it at the time, I would peruse the local library catalogue for other books by the same author ~ without success. It never once occurred to me that someone who wrote so outstandingly well would never have published another novel ~ but such is the case.

Now I am doing this novel for the 2nd time [I gave it to Liddy as a Chrissy present several years ago, not as a school study] I thought it high time to acquaint myself with certain issues I have glossed over for several decades. Mockingbirds just don't exist in these parts. The chances of me actually ever seeing one are remote so not a priority, no. Harper Lee looks a lot like I always imagined Scout ~ & it is no surprise to find many of the details in the book are autobiographical & based on fact ~ though I was a bit stunned to find the character of Dill based on Truman Capote. Truman Capote? Really? But such is the case. Boo too was a real person who lived down the street. No wonder the book has such a gritty realism till I can smell the hot summer dust, hear the low, drawling, southern voices carried on the night air, hear the collards rattling in the wind ~ but what, under all heaven, is a collard?!

Member of the cabbage family apparently. Glad to know that. Unnecessary information but nice to know & I will still hear it in my mind clanking more like cattle cane than any collard probably sounds like because collards are another of those things, you know, I'm unlikely to meet.

Harper Lee was 34 when To Kill a Mockingbird was first published. She was born in 1926 so she's over 80 now & I can't help but wonder ~ that 2nd unfinished novel she put aside, & that non~fiction discussion of a serial killer, has she burned her papers or will we be lucky & when she has gone will we finally be able to see the world through the unique lens of Harper Lee's eyes? I do hope so. Not that I actually wish the woman dead or anything but I have waited a long time for that 2nd novel!

A Strange Love Affair.

Many ~ perhaps most ~ Australians have never stood in a mangrove forest...Mangroves are not the sort of place most people would choose for a casual stroll. Bob Holmes [New Scientist]

Milky mangrove.

Shortly after we moved to the island I became known as The Greenie; this was not a complimentary endearment! I drove the excavator crazy. Of two trees growing side by side, their trunks touching, the excavator was only allowed to remove the one infested with white ants. I bailed up the chainsaw guy & sent him packing. He protested he was only cutting down dead trees. I pointed out nests. We kept our ironbarks ~ & the she oaks, the soap trees & ferns. In between we planted more natives & some exotics. I think we are the only family that has not systematically removed our mangroves, legally or otherwise. I'm sure this does not surprise you. Different root systems but each eliminates the salts while absorbing oxygen, nutrients & water.

A mangrove is not, a mangrove is a mangrove is a mangrove. Queensland alone boasts 39 different species of mangrove. If I walk along my waterfront I can count a least 7 different varieties. On the outer edges we get the common great spreading Grey whose branches rest so serenely along the water like a languid lover's arms & behind those the River mangrove & Yellow. Closer to the shoreline you will find the Milky mangrove, the Red & Orange & Black mangroves, each doing its mangrovey thing, each different, each special.

Orange amongst Red Mangroves.

Now anyone who has lived near mangroves will immediately think they are a breeding habitat for mosquitoes ~ which is unfortunately true & probably a major contributing factor to their consistent removal, though I've met lots of people who just think them plain ugly & useless. Nothing could be further from the truth. A well grown Orange is a magnificent tree, especially when its red bell like flowers cluster amongst the dark green leaves! Mangroves are absolutely essential for a healthy coastal ecosystem but did you know the Milky, whose white sap is poisonous & notorious for causing blindness is also used in incense, is pollen rich & highly attractive to bees & the poisonous sap is used in treating chronic ulcerous diseases such as leprosy? My head is full of useless information.

It's been estimated that at least 1/2 of the world's mangrove forests have been destroyed by man. That's insane when you consider they stabilise river banks & channels & act as buffering from storm surges & winds. This was devastatingly highlighted during the Sri Lanka Tsunami of 2005. The village that had removed all its mangroves suffered over 6, 000 deaths. The one that kept them just 2! [quote from here] Seventy~five % of tropical coastlines are bordered by mangroves. They provide breeding nurseries for loads of marine life, shelter & nesting habitat for scores of birds & are soil formers.

The Grey Mangrove, with its wide spread & drab colouring, is absolutely fascinating. It is the pioneer mangrove, growing at the farthest extremes of the mangrove forest, tolerating short periods of both freshwater & hypersalinity & colonising developing mudbanks.

Between the pioneer spirit of the Greys & the landhuggers like the Blacks you find stands of River Mangroves. They look, to me, a lot like more of the same but they are subtlety different & do a quite different job. They form large stands in the centre & landward zones of mangrove forests creating an understory for the Greys & buffering the less robust mangroves behind them.

And did you know that Mangroves can "drown"? More or less. Extended periods of water logging exceeding 14 days & any species of mangrove will die. They all need a certain amount of exposure to fresh air to disperse their salts & oxygenate themselves.

We are blessed, Along our stretch of beach the mangroves have been left unmolested for many years. We have several huge trees bearing the scars of the storms they have survived, wide swathes where it is possible to walk through dappled waterlight with ease. When the winter winds howl overhead & the thermometer plummets I can head into the mangroves knowing that in some sunshiny spot there will be silence & warmth & shelter from the storm.

Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird. Atticus ; To Kill a Mockingbird ~ Harper Lee.

It is so lovely outside just now, despite the fact Ditz is not an early riser, that we have taken our reading onto the verandah. Coffee in my big green mug, some razorback oysters Ditz has plans for & some of my favourite books that I have waited a long time to share with Ditz: God's Smuggler, The Screwtape Letters & To Kill a Mockingbird. Pity she doesn't like any of them but it is pleasant sitting in the dappled sunlight with the cats purring at our feet.

We have kept the She Oaks, the Ironbarks & Soap trees & on the waterfront 7 different varieties of mangroves. I love mangroves. We sit concooned in our green & blue & gold wonderland & the rest of the world ceases to exist.

Autumn Mornings.

Jess was looking about the sunlight kitchen now, inspecting his family. " All here," he said, "right side up $ forked end down." But then, maybe he was still praying, for what he said next was, "Amen, amen."

Autumn mornings; half a century of them Days on end of crystalline crispness. I never tire of them. As I walk through the mangroves at low tide there are turtles, dugongs & dolphins popping inquisitive heads up to investigate these strange 2 legged land creatures. Not frightened & you can tell by the way they turn their heads & keep pace with Ditz & I that they are as curious about us as we are about them.

The other day I saw an albino something, looping in & out of the water with a curious pearly pink sheen to their white underbelly. So very pretty & I thought, as I always think, how wonderful are the things that God made, far more amazing & precious than anything man has ever come up with. I guess there are the Hawkins of this world who will keep trying but I'm not a Hawkins & glad for it! Besides, unmolested & unthreatened I am always stunned at how willing wild animals are to engage with humans. It brings me so close to the garden of Eden.

My morning meditation is broken just now by the baby butcher bird who perches on the rail beside me & begins to scold & cajole for tit~bits despite the kittens chittering agitatedly at my feet. Short the full quid maybe, or just inexperienced, but he is a brave, brave little bird & he has the prettiest song of them all. We get a prolonged warbling that none of the recordings quite capture. Far prettier than the magpie or currawong calls. Pity that some of his other attributes are more than a little grotty. Suffice to say the name says it all!

So many birds flittering in & out of the trees & the sound of bird song thick as molasses. The kittens are adoring this cooler weather, perched like guardian mascots along the edge of the verandah, eyes slitted, riveted by the dancing shadows, the glinting sparks of light, the drift of leaves against the sky. Mmmm. Smell the air! I am intoxicated by Autumn!

If time were the wicked sheriff in a horse opera , I'd pay for riding lessons & take his gun

& shoot him. W.H Auden

All year, & we are now nearly done with the fifth month, Ditz & I have struggled with our health. I am looking askance at those pesky mosquitoes & all the nasty little diseases they carry because with all the rain we had more than our usual numbers throughout summer. Of course it may just be that I'm getting old but if this is getting old I'm over it. I have things to do, places to be.

Like singing classes, made more difficult now by the lack of a car. Liddy has managed to write off her vehicle. *sigh* We are debating a replacement because our absolutely wonderful council wants to remove all the parking spaces along the mainland foreshore ~ & yes they are an eyesore but without good public transport what are all our workers meant to do ~ & people like us who have our kids in extra curricula activities that require toddling all over Brisbane? And if you think that's not an issue you should have been on the boat last night at 7.15 because some child had gone missing from school. Try dealing with that from over here without a vehicle! Know where she went & why eventually but no~one was able to go get her! Having been the parent whose kids have missed buses & thus boat connections I know what a major drama this causes in the heart of a parent. Why the council never capped our population I do not know. It was the smart thing to do if they didn't want to bridge us [& they don't] & don't want the parking issue. Obviously our council isn't big on smarts.

We have cut everything back to a bare minimum. Ditz is not doing flute, violin or piano. I know. I thought she would miss the music but it seems that teen angst has negated all that. I believe violin is now an option so we will once more add that & see how we go. I prefer flute myself but it's not all about me, more's the pity.

Singing is gearing up for Creative Generation. Just breathing. This was a circus last year. Absolutely huge production. The massed choir alone was 2,ooo students. You read that right: 2 000! AVAE, I believe, are this year's guest artists. Deep breathing. I am not thinking about how we are going to make that last boat because without a car obviously we won't. Guess we're crashing on someone's floor for the night. Luuuverly. I think there's a reason I'm just plain tired all the time. Ho hum.

Lessons to be learnt.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer & supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. [ Phil. 4:6]


Liddy is a planner ~ one of my left~brained, logical, detail oriented children. She makes lists, checks them twice. Ditz & I, well let's just say we're more the paint ball artist types; throw all your colours at a canvas & see what happens. Want to see Liddy spin, throw her a curved ball.


So before Liddy handed in her resignation she made a list: her known expenses for the year, her unknowns, her maybes & what ifs. I sympathise. I like to know where my next paycheck is coming from too. Liddy is detail oriented & her math is good. According to her calculations she had more than enough to get her through 12 months of unemployment comfortably.


Now God in His infinite wisdom gives me all the detail oriented stuff that sends me crazy because who in their right mind would care about all this stuff?! Government departments! Oh, how I loathe government departments! Liddy does that stuff in her sleep. Seriously, Ditz handed her a handful of change yesterday & without blinking Lid said,"$3.75". She was out by 20 c. I do much better with curved balls, red herrings & bunny trails. Liddy does not. Yep. She is getting them all!


Liddy goes to Sydney next week ~ unless another curved ball heads her way. She is booked to do a 5 day course on self development. Uh~huh. Planned for, paid for. Planned to drive down. Planned to swing by Aunty Duchess on her way home [ Hi sweetheart! ♥♥♥ Yeh, I know she hasn't contacted you.] Planned to head off to her new job at Rathdowney. All in her very own car. Yep. Lid's a planner. Dearest & I haven't been so happy about the way she's zotting all over the place like a bottled fly but the child's 20. An adult. We said our say & shut out mouths. God is not subtle, not when He has something to say. Not subtle at all. Plain as day. Oh yeah.


So driving back to the jetty on Sunday Lid made a slight *error of judgement*. Not all her fault but she is at fault. Ended up in the ditch. Car's been towed away by the RACQ. Lid's pretty shaken up in herself but thankfully not hurt. Mean old mum put her behind the wheel of our car as soon as she got home. No point stewing over an accident. They are called accidents for a reason & Liddy is a good driver. She needed to know that. So she drove Ditz & I up to the shops & back & it was all good. But before she has even left her job she is watching her careful, well thought out plans get smashed to smithereens & the lovely nice pile of accumulated cash dwindle before her very eyes. Her insurance just went through the roof. Um, yeah, don't even want to think about that one. She has car repairs to pay for. She has no car so may have to fly to Sydney ~ & do public transport to the airport ~ unless the repair job is quick. She has no transport to gad ~ & will have to rely on others to get her to Rathdowney.


Liddy is careful & thoughtful ~ & there is nothing at all wrong with that in & of itself but the lesson is as glaringly obvious to me as I expect it is to Liddy. We cannot rely on ourselves for even the most mundane of things. Our security is in Christ alone. I suspect that sort of trust is harder for the Liddy's of this world.

Both ways now...

Two things are aesthetically perfect in the world ~ the clock & the cat. Emile August Chartier. Butter wouldn't melt in their mouths ~ until the lights go off at night! All day they can be found somnolent about the house, cuddling their people, minding vacant chairs for their missing owners, purring like demented kettles but come the night! Ah, they turn into fiends & demons & whirling dervishes!

We have a routine. The boys sleep upstairs with us. Our bedroom is their safe haven. It is where they immediately bolt if they get frightened. At night it is where we are. They know my routine & are at the stairs waiting for me as I come down the hall. They arrive sleepy~eyed, yawning big yawns. They mew piteously, anxious to go to bed. They curl round my ankles, lift small delicate chins for a goodnight scratch, shoot up the stairs & onto their blankets, a picture of innocent virtue watching me patiently as I prepare for bed.

As soon as I flick off the light that all changes! They explode around the room cannoning into walls & furniture. They hurl themselves across the bed chasing each other. Crash. Bang. Thump. They roll round in a furry lump, their jaws locked around each others throats growling & mewling . I can sleep through most things. What I cannot sleep through is Marlow.

At some point Kirby loses all interest for Marlow & he arrives on my bed. This cat is so delicate, so light on his feet, I never feel him arrive ~ until he pounces! There follows a flurry as he worries my feet, pinning me with his considerable weight as a delicate, seeking paw squirrels under the bedclothes so he can nibble my toes. Eeeew! When he has left my ankles in tatters he squirms up the bed purring his head off for a last cuddle, a last chuck under the chin & the sound of my voice telling him he's a pretty puss. [Well, after all that ruckus I can hardly tell him he's a good boy, can I?]

I believe the rest of our nights are hardly peaceful but as the boys don't disturb me [or Dearest for that matter] it's not an issue until the sun starts peeking over the horizon. Marlow, having by all accounts spent his night bouncing off our walls, is still sleeping the sleep of the virtuous. Kirby, on the other hand, starts feeling lonely. I feel him arrive & hurriedly bury my head under my doona. Nothing dismayed, his purrs reverberating the entire bed, Kirby starts fishing under the doona with a paw. His small furry head eventually follows with squeaks of delight & delighted hiccupy purrs because it is officially morning & he is thrilled to see me. Indeed he is so delighted he wants to sit on my face. And lick my chin. Nibble my ear~lobe [eeeew! gross!]. When he starts trying to pin me down so he can groom me I know I have to get up. It's the only thing to do.

I've decided both cats are quite mad.

Thinking aloud here.

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; & his commandments are not grievous. 1 John 5:3

I mentioned to a friend that sometimes I really wished God had made it simple & said: Do this; don't do that ~ & then I realised He's tried that once already, with dubious results. Mind you, it's kept the Jewish people together through several Diasporas but somehow I don't think that was quite what God had in mind, not primarily.

Now just like anyone else I can trot out the trite & simple answers as to what God wants & at different times I have conveniently let it go at that: Love God, love your neighbour. Um, yeah. And depending on whom I speak with & what denomination they belong to depends on what sort of answers I get if I ask, "But how do I love God? What does it mean to love my neighbour?"

When I ask God the answers are a little more troubling because the whole bible is about answering those 2 questions! Dear God, from the legalism of the Jews & the tolerance of the Liberals, preserve us! There is a Way for my stumbling feet that hangs between the Law & the Prophets of the Old Testament & the Grace of the New. It is the path Jesus trod & the closer I find myself to His example the more of His peace I have ~ the peace that passeth all understanding.

Some of where I find myself is familiar territory because the church got the teaching's right. Some is unexplored territory because in embracing the new the church forgot the old teachings. There is a delicate balance. The whole of the New Testament hangs upon the old. Jesus came that the old might be fulfilled: fulfilled, not abolished, not done away with, not abandoned as of no more importance. I tell you the truth until heaven & earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God's law will disappear until it's purpose is achieved. [matt 5:18:]

Grace, yes. Without it we are lost indeed, but the law also because the law tells us when we have sinned ~ & how we have sinned. Now before you all jump all over me consider than we in the west have been immeasurably blessed by the Jewish law. Our entire legal system is based in part on the 10 commandments. Imagine what would happen if our laws were dispensed with! People could do what they wanted, say what they wanted, take what they wanted & there would be no recompense, no justice. OK, so our world is going to hell in a basket & sometimes it already feels like the worst has happened but so long as the law stands the knowledge of right & wrong persists. And the law is not just a negative. It points out the best way to treat others ~ & God. When Jesus tells us to love others as we love ourselves it is this I'd be pretty sure He had in mind because Jesus was a Torah observant Jew. He knew His O.T.

If God is the same yesterday, today & forever [& He says He is] then He hasn't arbitrarily changed his mind. If He says a thing will last forever, it will. If He puts something in motion that is to last in perpetuity I wouldn't bet on it not. And here's the funny thing. If you had asked me if I loved God I would have answered, "Yes, of course!" But it was love on my terms ~ & ignorance is no excuse. God explains very clearly how we are to show our love for Him ~ you might be surprised.

The purpose of the law was not to trap people in legalism. It was to train the heart to think in a Kingdom way & a person to act in a Kingdom way ~ ways that glorify God & bless people. With that picture the Old Testament slides seamlessly into the New like a hand into a glove. Grasping the greater purpose the whole of scripture lights up like a stained glass window with the sunlight shining brilliantly through it & "How sweet are thy words unto my taste; yea sweeter than honey to my mouth." [psalm 119:103]

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old/ Age shall not weary them, nor the years condem...Laurence Binyon.

ANZAC Day always leaves me conflicted. I admire the young men & women who went to war & fought against incredible odds ~ & their own leaders stupidity. I also happen to think they were incredibly mistaken. I admire those who refused to go & kill their fellow man & got handed yellow feathers or worse. I happen to think there is always a better alternative to war ~ but the unravelling of that thread goes all the way back to Cain & Abel.

At different times I have marched in Dawn Services. My poppy was with the Gordons in 1916; my father was a pilot airlifting diggers out of PNG. My Uncle Norman died in Indonesia. On both sides of the family the men were farmers. Killing did not come naturally to them. They paid a price.

I no longer march. I don't think Ditz & I have ever done a study on ANZAC Day ~ but we have studied the wars & their consequences. I have unusual views on both. She lives here, sees the news, has partaken in a service once or twice herself. No big fuss. No major history lesson. The war simply slots into it's alloted place in the bigger picture.

Tomorrow the Diggers will don their slouch hats & their pristine uniforms & parade down our streets in memory of a mistake that cost far more lives than it was worth ~ & it was a mistake. They landed in the wrong place & should have been pulled out immediately because it was unwinnable from a military point of view. Don't get me started on Vietnam or how the English should have dealt with the Germans after WWI in order to have averted WWII!

I am allowed my traiterous & ill~informed views but tomorrow my boy will be one of those parading in uniform down Melbourne's streets. When his training is over he will probably be headed Afghanistan way. Do I think he is mistaken? You bet your booties I do. Do I think he is wrong? Most assuredly. Am I proud of him? More than I can say. That is the end point of the whole sorry exercise, isn't it? He can march & I can not because this is a free country & the world being the way it is other people have paid the price for us to disagree in peace. For every soldier who marches tomorrow there is a whole family; for every fallen soldier a whole family who grieved; for every soldier returned suffering post traumatic stress a community affected. We can never afford to forget. It should never be allowed to happen again ~ & it will. That is the saddest thing of all.

And she pondered these things in her heart...

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs4:23

We are transitioning ~ not so smoothly. Liddy, finally, has handed in her resignation. We are all relieved. Changes are ahappening. In the midst of the need to deal with the practicalities of life the Lord has been speaking to me & I am trying to keep one ear at least tuned to what He has to say to me.

Whatever happens one thing & one thing alone is important: to walk in the old ways & see & ask for the old paths, where is the good way because there we shall find rest for our souls.

And the question is, "What does it really mean to follow Jesus?" If he came to show us the way, what is that way? Not, it seems, what I have always been taught it is. The church has lied & as I attempt to peel away the layers of paganism & man~made ritual that have attached themselves to the church as we know it I am left with something far simpler, far more profound & far more difficult than I ever imagined.

Not the easiest journey I've ever undertaken but at least I can't complain to the Lord that it was boring!