This & that.

Star & I were up waaay too late last night watching the SBS movie we came in halfway through so I don't know the name.  I do know it was French & let's just say I have a weakness for French movies.

My understanding of French is semi~reasonable ~ depending.  You know how it is.  Some days the brain just won't fire & recall vocabulary.  Anyway I am not as completely reliant on the sub~titles as Star is: she gave up around mid~night. 

However part way through & before Star abandoned me to my fate we heard a rattling round the kitchen area & on investigation, in case we needed a cat to deal with an unwanted intruder, we discovered the most humongous green tree frog I have seen in ages., all covered with cat hair & dust he'd collected from scrabbling round on our floors.  We admired him & shoved him out the door having no idea at all how he managed to get in in the first place.

I am down to the last few days of my fast & all of a sudden I just want it to be over.  The psychological aspects always seem to be the hardest for me to deal with but at the same time Ezekiel was rabbiting on about cubits & however often I did the conversion I just couldn't hold the numbers in my head.  Now there's a conversion you would think the translators would just make.  Why wouldn't you?  Especially for people like me who still think in imperial despite the fact we converted to metric back in 1966 while I was still at school.  I didn't convert then & still think in feet & inches so what hope have I got with cubits?

Now it's not that I'm physically hungry; I'm not.  I'm feeling pretty good physically with that lovely clarity of mind fasting brings but I am just tired of being out of routine & having to make all these adjustments because of the fast.  The temptation is to pack it in early so I am hunkering down in the hope that this too shall pass & the last few days will be beneficial.  After all we are done with the cubits for now so at least my reading shouldn't be so fraught.

Reuse, Recycle, Refurbish.

My hobby of not attending meetings about recycling saves more energy than your hobby of recycling. ~ John McCarthy

When Liddy came home to school I gave up my desk so that she had somewhere to study.  Being a kinesthetic learner she was rarely to be found at it but the drawers accumulated a variety of her junk & the top served as a clothing depository.  Meanwhile Star, who also deigns to use a desk, ditched her secretariat, which moved into my bedroom & served the useful purpose of holding a variety of writing paper & the presents no~one is supposed to know about.  Meanwhile I used Star's outgrown desk with it's world map sprawled across its surface & strangely convex top but I missed my desk.  For one thing it was a present from my parents.  For another it had working drawers.  Thirdly it was longer rather than wide which suits how I work much better & allows for whichever psychotic cat needs the close comfort of my presence to perch alongside of me without either of us getting in the other's way.

Now Dino is looking at some serious study & is working his way down a list of theological colleges who may, or may not, offer the sort of course he is interested in. He is looking here at present.  We like this one as it is close to home which means he isn't travelling forever & can borrow the shared mainland car without causing major disruptions.  So as the rain was belting down this morning & Dino got an unexpected day off work we did a major recycling job.  I cleared out Liddy's desk & dragged it out into my space freeing the desk I had been using for Dino, which he gratefully lugged upstairs ~ & I have my own desk back!  I believe I've been possessive about my things from an early age.  My mother tells the story of returning from a holiday only to have me march round the house proclaiming, My house.  My bed.  My chair.  etc

And you remember Star did the Gatton thing?  Well Star arrived home with some rosemary growing in one of those tacky seedling pots because at the close of the service everyone was encouraged to take a pot of rosemary in memory of the floods & those who perished in them.  Each pot had a little tag.  Star's was rather appropriate we thought.

The problem of course is that if I plant it in the garden Star can't take it with her & rather than go out & buy yet another pot I have been considering an alternative.  When my mother moved house she passed along to us a most delightful set of spice jars ~ which we have never actually used.  They don't make very good spice jars so they have been sitting in a cupboard while I worked up the courage to pass them along.  I think they would make beautiful & attractive herb pots because I have inherited a terrible family failing & there is always something [several somethings] sprouting in a peculiar variety of jars on my windowsills.

I know rosemary grows into a rather big bush if let go but kept pruned & indoors it should do ok in one of these small jars & we can get the pleasure of them without feeling guilty they serve no useful purpose.  If it works [& gosh I hope I don't kill Star's special plant off!]  I may do the entire collection.  What do you think?

We can't cross that bridge until we come to it, but I always like to lay down a pontoon ahead of time. ~ Bernard Baruch



It is wet.  It is cold.  The wind is scything across the bay & I am snuggled into a jacket & draped with the brown checked rug you can zip up like a coat that my mother gave me one Christmas.

It was overcast & showery yesterday too but nowhere near as cold & the lad went off to play cricket on the island oval where the sight of dolphins lazily cruising down the channel generally generates more interest than the game.

  I arrived in time to watch Dino lob a six & a couple of fours around the oval before being caught out on the boundary but by then, naturally, we were running late.  The boat we should have been on had left before Dino was out of the shower so we went to church in the tinnie.  This is not a major deal.  I make sure I'm not all dolled up.  Depending on traffic & where the car got left last time someone was over, the wind & tide et al I might find myself cumbersomely climbing ladders, clambering out onto a beach, the rocks & slippery ramp of the boat ramp or bouncing onto one of several pontoons.  Last night it was a pontoon.

Given my drathers, I'd drather the ladder & a stable jetty to cling to ~ especially if the weather is a bit rough, as it was last night.  There are 2 patches that are dodgy on the bay.  One is the Ws between 2 of the islands where tide & current battle the wind & the channel froths & bubbles like a witch's cauldron.  The other is the entrance to the marina which narrows artificially into a man made channel that periodically silts up & tends to be shallow & unstable.

Dino chose to tie up at the old pontoon.  It's further up the channel & generally more stable.  I am not a big fan of the pontoon thing.  I've seen too many near catastrophes on the things.  Last night I was a victim of said pontoon though in all honesty I was at fault for badly misjudging the shift in ballast as I clambered out of the boat.  I am now sporting a massive bruise on my foot where it caught the gunnel & a stinging scrape along the bone.  I am feeling sore & sorry for myself. 

Just the same, there is nothing quite like being out on the open water under a big night sky to make you appreciate the awesomeness of God &  just how small & ignorant you are.

A Little Light Reading.

Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just? Genesis



My specific reading at the moment is Ezekiel ~ he of the dry bones set dancing  up out of the dust of the ages ~ & don't you just love that visual imagery.  Ezekiel is all about idolatry & how much God hates it, about how the nations about Israel will be reduced to nothing & less than nothing for rejoicing over Israel's downfall, & about the faithfulness of  God.  It is probably the only time in my life I have read all of this book sequentially.  I tend to dance around, bob back & forth, & read completely out of sequence so I have found reading it through straight, from beginning to end, hard going. 

The 2nd commandment addresses the issue of idolatry & yet from beginning to end Israel's besetting sin is idolatry.  I'm a fast reader ~ which is what happens when you spend 3 years of your life wading as fast as possible through impossible texts so you can write a not very enlightened paper about them, so I had got about 3/4 of the way through scratching my head because we all know idolatry is wrong.  We all practise it, of course, but we know it's wrong & when we realise we try & do something about it. 

There is the whole issue of God's holiness & the glory of His name of course but there is another reason, one that rather shocked me because I tend to think of myself as a little person, someone of no account, & I spend a good bit of my time trying hard to so blend into the background as to neither draw attention to myself nor have to engage in social situations I find difficult & unrewarding.  Enter Derek Prince.

I like Prince.  On the whole I think he had an excellent grasp of the importance of the middle east to the End Times & the centrality of Israel & the Israelites.  I had listened to his preaching for years & found it thorough & vivid but had never had the good fortune to get my hands on one of his books.  Not that I was trying over hard, there being so many excellent books around I have yet to read, but last time I was in Koorong  I got his On Experiencing God's Power.  Weird title but the insides looked ok.  Stuff on fasting [which was really good] & tithing, controlling the tongue ~ & holiness.  I have a thing about personal holiness because God has been on my case for years about how important it is.  What I never really got [except that without it none of us will see God] is why it was so important.

I mean, seriously, I'm a common little garden variety sinner saved by grace.  There's a lot of us around & I don't think anyone who knows me really well would choose holiness as an adjective to describe me.  Au contraire, mes soeurs.  Anyway, Prince is my *light reading* just now.  That almost seems like a contradiction in terms but then Prince isn't difficult.  Not really.  Deep, but not difficult. And because I was reading him on the boat, & in the green room, & tucked up in the back corner of Max Brenner's I was constantly losing my place & reading fairly randomly when I stumbled on his chapters on The Salt of the Earth.

In here Prince lays down the principle established  in Genesis when Abraham pleaded for Sodom, starting with: for the sake of 50 righteous men & working his way down to a bare 10, would God not spare the city?  Ten righteous men were not to be found & so Abraham & Lot flee the city with their families.  In the process Lot asks God a favour because he doesn't think he can make it all the way to the mountains he's been told to retreat to in time.  He requests that he be allowed to find refuge in the little village of Zoar.  

And what does God say? “Behold, I grant you this favour also, that I will not overthrow the city of which you have spoken.”  For the sake of one righteous man [& make no mistake, Lot was righteous, the bible says so] little Zoar was spared.

Now that is the principle.  The application is for us. Remember we have been told we are salt & light.  We get sprinkled across our wider communities, usually numerically small, to act as salt.  And what does salt do?  It acts as an antiseptic to cleanse filth; it aides the prevention of corruption; it is necessary to good health; it adds flavour.  For the sake of the righteous on Earth God with holds His judgement but if the salt should lose it's flavour.....


The wider application is that we are a priestly people after the order of Melchizedek, watchmen called to stand in the gap & plead for God's mercies on our communities, to act as an astringent & cleanser, to slow corruption, to aide health  etc.  So long as we do our job there is still time to reach the unsaved ~ which is one reason why a great apostasy, a great falling away, is necessary before the judgement because there will then be no~one to plead the world's cause.

Prince points out that we are also ambassadors, Christ's representatives on earth, & one of a Nations final acts before declaring all out war is the withdrawal of their aambassadors.

So the question becomes:  How much do we care for our unsaved family? Our neighbours? Our communities?  Our Nation?  Our entire world?  For the sake of one righteous man God spared Zoar.  Do we care enough to strive after  holiness?  We are made righteous by the blood of Christ but do we actively pursue it?  Are we quick to repent & confess?  Are we diligent in working out our salvation?  A huge responsibility rests on our shoulders; the fate of the entire world in fact ~ & while Christ will return, let it not be because we have failed in our duty.

Organized slaughter, we realize, does not settle a dispute; it merely silences an argument. ~James Frederick Green



Our teens are brain deficient.  Especially the boys.  The frontal lobe of the brain  [that area responsible for the ability to judge consequences & control impulses] does not develop until our children are in their twenties.  Which begs the question...

Once upon a time, yes, I'm that old, you had to be 21 to enlist in a war.  I remember when it changed.  Draft Beer, Not People. Make Love, Not War.  Join the Army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill them.  Remember the slogans?  Our government, in it's wisdom, lowered the drinking age, not raised the conscription age.  We now have a lethal cocktail of teens who can both drink & drive yet lack the ability to control their impulses or judge the consequences of their actions.

Which is not my point.  Do you know the age God  allowed for Jewish men to be sent to war?  Yep, 20! [Numbers1:2~3]  We should've paid attention 'cause you know who makes the best soldiers, don't you?  Children!  And there are plenty of countries around the world doing just that: Eastern Europe, large parts of Asia & the Middle East, parts of South America & Africa.

Frankly I think the people who declare war should be the ones made to fight it but as that ain't gonna happen any time soon ['cause these people don't have a teen brain & are perfectly capable of seeing where the consequences of such actions will land them] it seems only reasonable that those on the front line should stand a fighting chance.

My boy is 26.  I would hardly say he's fully capable of controlling his impulses or judging the consequences even now.  *sigh*  Some days living in a fallen world just make me mad.  I think today is one of those days.

Checking for Monsters.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' ~Steven Wright.

We all know the Star.  She's a bit out there.  A bit goofy.  She's funny & witty & she lights up our life.  Our house was very quiet while she was gone.





It is not, as it so happens, the very first time Star has been away from home while not accompanied by some trusted family member but  Alison checked anyway to make sure she'd be ok all alone in her strange hotel room.

"I'll be fine," Star assured her breezily, "Once I've checked for monsters."  Alison laughed.  She thought the Star was joking.  The Star was not.  She checked under the bed & in all the cupboards & behind the curtain & the bathroom before she was convinced nothing lurked in some hidden corner that could grab her in the middle of the night.  Even so she missed the curlews & the frogs, the bitterns & pheasants that serenade us with our night~time lullabye.  Instead she had traffic & people walking past, big trucks & the sound of a busy city.

This morning Dearest & I watched rather besottedly the ABC coverage of the Gatton Memorial Service. For us there was only one performer.  Here's Star.  If you catch the news coverage of this Star is in the top right hand corner wearing a green shirt ~ & beaming ~ as she always does when she performs.

How to complicate a life.

Ever since I first ran across the idea of beginning the New Year with a fast the idea grabbed hold of my imagination.  There was just something so *right* about the whole concept & so I purposed in my heart that this year I would go for it ~ not because I'm super spiritual or anything like that ~ quite the opposite in fact; & not because I like fasting.  I don't.  I like the results but getting my get up & go to actually start one takes a rather large spiritual bomb. 

It probably helped that due to a combination of circumstances there was far less junk food in my cupboards than is normal for this time of year & I knew that simply starting was going to be the hardest part ~ or so I thought.  Unfortunately I do not live to myself alone.  Dearest does not believe in fasting & while he will cook the odd meal he dislikes doing it now because my house now consists of 2 semi~vegetarians [one of whom will eat no mushrooms, the other no lentils!], & one on the Daniel Fast.

Food is an issue.  Watching me dice vegetables for yet another curry & rice dish Dearest complained loudly that he did not understand anyone drowning the taste of good food in sauce.  I tartly replied that he should given the 1/2 inch layer of salt he pours over good food! Ick. Stopped him dead in his tracks because he has never thought that what he does is the least odd. 

Now Dino, like my Dearest ~ & Liddy too for that matter, is a confirmed red meat eater.  He works in landscaping doing heavy physical stuff & it is nothing for him to consume large amounts of food.  He burns through it fairly quickly.  As a rule I make him a meat & salad sandwich for lunch, throw in a muesli bar & a couple of pieces of fruit & we're done.  On the Daniel Diet Dino gets no meat.  [Star has been snickering no end about this one!]  I have found myself making quantities of pasta or rice or potato salad, salsa~y things with our abundance of tomatoes & cucumbers straight out of the garden, tabouli ~ all just for the lad to take to work.  I make a large container.  It comes home empty every night & he is always hungry!  Always.  Dino is having trouble, particularly with his energy levels but on the weekends he joins me on a liquids only regime.  I suspect that is most of his problem right there but I don't want to discourage him.  He wants to make some effort, however small & incomplete.

When I planned this January stretched ahead as a long empty expanse with very little happening.   Expecting the massive headaches & a variety of lesser evils as my body detoxed I very deliberately left January as that vast & empty landscape. That all changed with one e~mail.  Yesterday, as Star drove into town, Brizzie's temperature was skyrocketing past 38 degrees C & my water bottle was emptying fast! I was not looking forward to the drive home.

So here I am juggling a variety of eating habits, trying to time it so that Dearest's meat is ready  just before I pour sauce into vegetables so that I can put Dearest's on his plate unadorned, & watching Star's supply of lentil patties deplete rather fast.  And please, don't bother pointing out this isn't strictly a Daniel Fast.  I know it's not ~ not exactly.  Dino didn't do his reading & I got bored before I was half done so we are doing what we can.  All this fuss about food! *sigh*

Meanwhile Star is having a massive meltdown because her voice, while improving, has not improved either enough or fast enough for her liking & finding a song that she isn't going to completely maul for her audition is proving difficult & angst~making.  I have been roped in for personal performances late at night while Star runs through her  repertoire & I make judiciously encouraging comments ~ & try not to giggle when her voice disappears completely!  Oh. My. 

And I have yet to get up to my mother's.  Hopefully we will head to Star's audition on the 21st then just keep heading north.  The cats will have a fit when we don't come home.  Yes indeedy!

Back in the Green Room.

I believe in professionalism, but playing is not like a job. You have to be grateful to have the opportunity to play ~Wynton Marsalis
January is usually pretty slow with us.  Generally we are in recovery mode after too much December with Star involved in rehearsals & concerts up until Christmas Eve.  January is usually hot.  And muggy.  Humid.  Unbearable.  We sprawl under the fans with cold drinks; ices; wet cloths, mopping our dripping faces.  We watch too many movies & generally sloth about.  The only excitement is our annual trip up to my mother's which we like to leave as late as possible hoping that by late January the crowds will have dispersed, the weather will have improved & the break will revive us enough to deal with the year ahead.





Which is why I chose January for my longer fast.  Amongst other reasons but knowing I had nothing much on was a great motivator.  That has all changed.  Naturally.

It changed without warning.  One moment I was happily clicking windows on my computer anticipating another slow day.  The next I was reading an e~mail with growing alarm!    So I am back in the Green Room.  I am back with a vengeance.  I think I was asleep in about 20 minutes.  Gosh those couches are comfy!  Everyone sleeps in the green room.

Mary Poppins is in full swing.  The place was overflowing with children & chimney sweeps.  Angelina Ballerina is showing.  As is James & the Giant Peach.  Star is in rehearsal.  QPAC is providing the music for the "One Year On"  First Anniversary Commemorative Service at Gatton to remember last year's devastating floods.  This is by special invite & Star is incredibly lucky to be doing it.  Four pieces to be learned in 4 days ~ one of which is our National Anthem.  I know.  Call me slack, but seriously when does anyone ever actually sing this thing ~ unless you are on a school parade ground for assembly [which Star obviously isn't] or accepting your gold medal at the Olympics? And hands up if you even knew there was another verse.  I did but I don't know any of the words.

We were chatting on the way home, as one does on these occasions, because this event necessitates Star travel with the choir to Toowoomba & overnight there so they can run their sound & light checks & do a run through & stand around while the powers that be confer about whether everything is working as it should, & we realised that we could literally count the number of times Star has been away from home without me on the fingers of one hand.  No school camps for the Star & even something like Guides Star hasn't done because music has eaten up her life. Oh. My.  It's not that Star needs me; she doesn't.  She just likes to have her *Mummy Admiration Society*  out in full force when she's performing.  What I am not doing is travelling out to Gatton!  The crowds.  The parking.  Not this little black bunny.  Nope.  I shall stay home & enjoy it from the comfort of my lounge chair in front of the tellie!

So yeah.  Star is required to be absolutely professional.  The PM will be there.  The GG will be there.  The Premier will be there.  The television cameras will be there.  So if you happen to be watching the news Tuesday night scan the alto section for our Star.  She'll be there somewhere.

Last Bird Standing.

I realised that if I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes ~ Charles Lindbergh.

*Quiet time* was something of a misnomer this morning. 

 I have a cane chair upstairs in our overlarge bedroom where I can prop my feet on the low windowsill & look out through the canopy to the slow swirl of water that is our bay.  There are usually lots of the little birds:finches, honeyeaters, silvereyes, flycatchers & fantails flitting through the leaves & warbling away.  It creates a happy background noise for prayer.  That all changed this morning.

It wasn't that the sound was unhappy ~ just, well, noisy.  Lots of squawks & squeaks & arks punctuated by a shrill trill.  I just had to open my eyes & peek.  There, perched along my verandah rail, was a whole family of butcher birds & despite their extremely grotty feeding habits I am very fond of butcher birds because they have the loveliest song of all the bush birds.  And they were all very intently watching the very fat grand~daddy of a butcher bird try to fit himself flat in my bird bath & roll around making sure every last feather  got a good drenching.  The peanut gallery had plenty of advice to offer about the process to boot!

As I watched more & more birds arrived until there were over half a dozen in various stages of either attempting to get into the bath, drink from the rim or dry off after their ablutions. 

Half an hour later all that remained was one lone half~grown chick perched forlornly on the rail & a seriously depleted bird bath!

Not really me?

I would appreciate the irony more if I was feeling better.  Yep, I'm as crook as a chook & have spent the best part of 2 days in bed nursing a massive & debilitating headache along with various other aches & pains.  Actually I'm heading back there very soon.  Such a waste.  Down south has a heat wave.  We just have blue skies & lovely sun.



So I thought I would show you what Star gave me. It is very pretty ~ though not really my colours, well I like the cream but red, not really me.  The material is beautifully soft so it's nice & comfortable to wear & wear it I do, to church.  Star, however, was not satisfied with just buying me a pretty shirt for special.  Nope, not the Star.  She had to accessorise.  The ear~rings are fine.  The bangles  are pretty but I can't think the last time I was so accessorised.  Well before my first child was born!

The child does not have a Quakerish bone in her body.  Obviously.  So what did she buy for herself?  Glow~in the~dark nail polish!  Yep, she's wearing it.  It works.  She's absolutely delighted.  I wonder about that child.  I really do.